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Joined 13 days ago
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Cake day: October 20th, 2025

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  • You don’t mention the most important part of the above comment: asking her how she feels to have something stolen and asking how she thinks someone who’s had something stolen feels.

    That’s different than telling her how someone would feel. The point is to develop empathy. At her age she should be capable of theory of mind. You want to focus on developing the skill of modeling others’ feelings in response to her own actions.

    Get her to think about how someone else feels rather than tell her. This shouldn’t be just an exercise for hurtful actions, either. It’s equally important for good feelings. “You gave me a hug! That made me feel so good inside!” “Look at that puppy. I wonder if he’s happy?”

    “I wonder” is a powerful way to unlock someone’s brain to expand their consciousness about the world around them. It gently invites them to follow the path you’re trying to lead them on and it shows you how they are seeing the world. People naturally like to have the answer especially when someone else displays some ignorance.

    (“I wonder” works on everyone, not just kids. It’s especially helpful with people with dementia.)


  • I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want to avoid your MIL. I also think it’s reasonable for your wife to maintain the relationship.

    Can you use her visit as excuse to take a vacation—alone or with friends—or visit your family? Given the circumstances, I think avoidance is a perfectly valid option. Get some you time if your wife is cool with it.