Well I already find honey disgusting so that’s a hard no for me.

Nothing sucks like sitting down on a freezing toilet seat and hearing your asshole pucker up with windows XP shutdown sound.

What psychopath is gonna drive 32??

Whoever invented jetskis and didn’t call them boatorcycles seriously fucked up

Nice.

AAAAAAAHHHHhHHHHhhHhHhHh.

That is all.

This is true but mostly because the Beatles are absolute dogshit.

355ml

Wildly infuriating!

Widdly scuds?

But they look so cute while doing it!

That’s probably because they used all your drugs

Man I hate it when that happens.

Peecha chakka no wookie fake, boonowa tweepi gay. Hoooo ho ho ho.

I honestly don’t know. I found my job through an employment agency, I worked there a few months and they offered me a permanent contract. I said yes and that was nine years ago.

When the drugs kick in and you have to focus on not dying.

As a EUrangutan I had to google what a cover letter means and now I am depressed.

I don’t know why but I read this in Treebeards voice

Meanwhile I’m stuck with one of those old-timey jobs where you’re actually supposed to show up.

Swiggity swoke I’m stealing your joke.

‘What makes you think I loved you to begin with?’