That’s what’s genuinely unsettling about the files. He’s terrified of what’s in there, and I seriously don’t think it’s because of the child rape. This is the asshole who has openly talked about walking into the dressing room of Ms. Teen USA while they were all undressed. He doesn’t give a flying fuck if people know that he raped a kid. There’s some other shit in those files that completely scares the shit out of him if it saw the light of day. I have my ideas as to what it could be, but something tells me my imagination isn’t nearly fucked up enough…

If they can even survive past asking why their pizza doesn’t have any cheese on it.

Which country will one of these people end up getting murdered? My money’s on France. Someone is going to douse their steak au poivre in bacon flavored ranch, and the reaction won’t be pretty.

Well yeah, if it’s 4,000 years old, odds are pretty solid it isn’t human.

At this point, I’m pretty sure the majority of content on Reddit is posted by bots. It’s at the point of looking more like instagram these days.

A six pack? Just a six pack?? That’s some limp wristed beta talk right there. Real men drink Everclear, mixed with rubbing alcohol. No ice. Only betas need their drinks refreshing and cold.

Pete is actually the only man on Earth whose BAC and IQ are basically the same number.

This article needs more hashtags. Also, all I saw in the headline was “FIRE CUBAN DOCTORS.” Took me a few more glances to notice the inexplicably smaller print.

Is it actually “sliding” into antisemitism? That’s been Israel’s go-to retort to any criticism whatsoever since basically their inception. Why even bring that term up? Outside of creating doubt about the validity of anyone speaking out against Israel’s actions.

You, internet stranger, inspire me. I will go buy more cheese now. Never mind that I live in Wisconsin and my fridge is already bursting at the seams with cheese. I’ll figure it out.

See, for me a “lapse in judgement” is usually something like buying that giant block of cheese at Costco that I don’t really need. But that’s just me, I guess.

Yeah, I bet dads in Iran don’t even check in on their son’s pornhub search history. Fucking heathens.

One day we’ll all look back at this time and remember the heroes who stood up in unison and proclaimed, “WE ARE CONCERNED.” Their concerns and strongly worded letters will echo through history.

Hopefully that feeling is his left arm going tingly and numb because he’s about to have a massive heart attack that’ll finally finish the fucking job.

I’m thinking right now of those people you always see on the internet talking about the military finally having enough of Trump and subsequently removing him forcibly from office. Do you think a few of those people are coming to a pretty jarring realization right now as to what kind of person typically serves in the military? And that THIS is what they’ve pinned their hopes on for ending this madness?

God, why would anyone subject themselves to this?

We got dragged into war because Israel was about to Leeerrroooooy Jenkins into Iran without us. Fucking remarkable.

What the fuck is this Russian propaganda horseshit doing on my feed?

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