She loves all the masculine things, detests pretty dresses and such. Even speaks with contempt if she sees the more hyper feminine styled people. Absolutely loves all the macho movies with 2D women serving as a background to the main brooding male. Anime is for losers and kids, well that’s maybe not super untrue but still.

To this day thanks to that I have coded in my brain that feminine things are just some stupid shit.

It feels like I had two fathers.

It’s not a big deal because hey it is what it is and I don’t know any different but seriously I only recently learned that there is nothing wrong with femininity.

Also my dad was weirdly passive person tbh, never seen anyone this timid and my mom used to say “he is the only one that can stand me, that’s why I chose him” which honestly in retrospection is kinda a red flag lol. I mean I love her but like maybe we weren’t the most normal family hm

She is probably “not like the other girls” at the very least but there are more interesting things about her which I won’t mention to not darken the light of day nor traumatise my dear readers (animal abuse). Suffice to say that we are not strong at the empathetic pursuits but I intend to develop and grow these parts.

Instead of seeing my dad as a weak wimp and a doormat I have grown to love the memories of him. There is certain value in gentleness. And a pity in seeing fear and anxiety. It’s a shame he didn’t manage to properly extend his wings and rise from his knees. He never cut off these invisible chains that seemed to always drag him down, muffle his voice and made him hesitate.

There are thousands like him going through life with some burden, afraid to raise the chin. Content with the minimum. Anxious to fight for what they rightfully deserve.

I guess I will too find one like this. I can already tell that I am pulled to the outcasts shy nerds because well it’s kinda cute