I’m puzzled by a few of the edits where you substitute with using /w as well as and using &. Is it meant to emphasize the words are stressed differently?
Also divine seems like the wrong adjective. The description of the sign is supposed to give a vibe of self aware incompetence while divine seems boastful.
I’ll take this one back to the workshop and tweak the meter. I thought I had it. Speaking of videogames, I found a fun trick that kind of works for me; I imagine the voice in Illidan in cutscene dialogues with the dramatic emphasis on stressed syllables. Its not perfect but it makes me giggle.
I really like the way you worded the mime part but I’ll use something Ill write myself just so its more mine :)
W/ is a common abbreviation for “with;” W/o is a common one for “without.” & is the ampersand and means “and.”
The divine has no problem being the fool. Someone wise once asked if God can microwave a burrito so hot even He can’t eat it. In that same light, I once seen John Cena lose to a little girl in arm wrestling. “Divine” is not “anti-slime,” but rather “slime” is half of divine.
Also, my original poem was meant to show alternative forms of limitations you could use to evoke creativity, to include consonance/alliteration. I really stand by the notion that a strategic typo does something wonky with human psychology; comparing two equivalent level of skill jokes, with one being a double-meaning typo, that is the one that will have a full order of magnitude more views, for whatever sociological reason.
And you are going to be photographed/filmed, have no doubt.
I don’t know what Illidan is, but I liked games when I was younger (a cult reprogrammed my dopamine through oil changes n cheese cloths; operant and classical conditioning), and if you want me to understand, send a clip of what you mean.
I feel a big karmic debt for all of it and always pay forward when I get an opportunity but it would take years at this point.
Back to the topic of meter, how’s this attempt?
You might have seen a sign of mine
It says this line, its “Rhymes for Dimes”
Was Written fast with ill design
So hastily with little time.
And made with cardboard slicked with grime
I call at strangers with a mime
Then I am paid a Single dime
and I climb up from my long sit
Get up to play the silly bit
Put out the cigarette I had lit
Then chime a prime brief rhyme sublime
And what had I received for this crime?
mountains of lime coloured slime covered dimes from my fountain of rhymes!
You might have seen a sign of mine
Says this line - “Rhymes for Dimes”
Was Written fast w/ divine design
So hastily and with little bit of time
Made w cardboard slicked w grime
Call @ strangers by means o mime
Then, I be paid w/ a Singlular dime
And I climb up from my longest sit
Getting up to thus play the silly bit
Putting out the cigarette I’d just lit
Chime brief prime rhyme sublime
& wat did I receive for this crime?
Mountains of lime coloured slime covered dimes from my fountain of rhymes!
You can spruce it up even more, I just did it fast. You’ve got the spirit, and thst is the fuel that will carry you the distance.
I’m puzzled by a few of the edits where you substitute with using /w as well as and using &. Is it meant to emphasize the words are stressed differently?
Also divine seems like the wrong adjective. The description of the sign is supposed to give a vibe of self aware incompetence while divine seems boastful.
I’ll take this one back to the workshop and tweak the meter. I thought I had it. Speaking of videogames, I found a fun trick that kind of works for me; I imagine the voice in Illidan in cutscene dialogues with the dramatic emphasis on stressed syllables. Its not perfect but it makes me giggle.
I really like the way you worded the mime part but I’ll use something Ill write myself just so its more mine :)
It’s to shorten length.
W/ is a common abbreviation for “with;” W/o is a common one for “without.” & is the ampersand and means “and.”
The divine has no problem being the fool. Someone wise once asked if God can microwave a burrito so hot even He can’t eat it. In that same light, I once seen John Cena lose to a little girl in arm wrestling. “Divine” is not “anti-slime,” but rather “slime” is half of divine.
Also, my original poem was meant to show alternative forms of limitations you could use to evoke creativity, to include consonance/alliteration. I really stand by the notion that a strategic typo does something wonky with human psychology; comparing two equivalent level of skill jokes, with one being a double-meaning typo, that is the one that will have a full order of magnitude more views, for whatever sociological reason.
And you are going to be photographed/filmed, have no doubt.
I don’t know what Illidan is, but I liked games when I was younger (a cult reprogrammed my dopamine through oil changes n cheese cloths; operant and classical conditioning), and if you want me to understand, send a clip of what you mean.