Hello everyone, I decided to type up this small rant because I was feeling slightly anxious about having to help develop an organized Marxist-Leninist movement in America.
The issue I am having is that based on what I have read, I am not sure if any major party that claims communism or Marxism-Leninism actually can lead the proletariat to establish socialism; this leads to the conclusion that either someone else has to develop a Marxist-Leninist party or I would have to develop one (the latter is an even scarier proposition for me).
Why am I anxious? I feel as if I have very little to do with my life outside of helping communists (I have no jobs lined up at the moment and my mental illnesses do not help), yet my theoretical understanding is too weak at the moment to really organize anything, so I am left in a tough spot with no idea on what I want to do.
Honestly, I am currently just focused on trying to figure out what to do in life, where to go, who to talk to, etc. I think this mini-rant is also an expression of my lack of direction in life.
Context: I live in America, so I feel like I am isolated from any form of Marxist organization and Marxists in general.
Edit: I also do not have a consistent income I can use to pay the dues of party membership, and I do not know when I will be able to get a job.
Edit 2: I am thinking of joining a Marxist-Leninist caucus in DSA or PSL where I will be. Thanks for all the advice, comrades.
My point is that as long as the principal line of the party is solid, you can tolerate some controversies every now and then. Controversies show that there is still insufficient discipline within the ranks of party cadres, but that is something that can be addressed and fixed with enough pressure from below. Or maybe it can’t and the whole thing falls apart. But again, that is also a learning opportunity. We learn more from failures than we do from success.
Like i said, no party is going to be perfect, especially not in its infancy. Correct ideology is developed through practice and struggle.
If you are still having a hard time making a decision you could try to simplify it for yourself like this: pick three principles you think are most important for a party to fulfil such that you can join and feel like you are doing something good and productive, and see which ones meet that bar. Get in touch with them and ask if you can participate in a meeting or protest or other event of theirs. If you vibe well with the members, ask to join.
Of course you can still criticize the things you see in them that you think are wrong, but don’t let imperfections spoil the whole thing for you.
That is good advice. The main issue is with me and my social anxiety making communication difficult (alongside the fact that I am not sure if I will be able to take care of myself in this awful economy, so joining a party might be adding extra unneeded responsibility that my mind will not handle well). I guess anti-capitalism, anti-Americanism, and anti-imperialism are some of the main principles I should look for in the organizations I could consider joining.