I’m genuinely gonna try to end it if I dont meet anyone to talk to and bond with. I cant with this, I seem to be an exception while everyone else seems to succeed to at least keep a conversation going. also, this conservative family is suffocating me. and environment is I have melatonin, some atarax and maybe some adderall in the house. nothing really lethal per se, but if I combine it with alcohol and something else, it might be deadly. I honestly dont know what to do
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I know that it’s like to feel that you’re just incapable of connecting with people. No matter what you do, it seems like nothing ever works. Every time you meet new people, you’re waiting for them to have that realization; that recognition that you’re not normal and not somebody they can ever be friends with. Eventually it becomes clear to you that everyone will leave, so there’s no point in getting attached or getting your hopes up. It’s isolating. It’s painful. It hurts so much.
The biggest thing that has helped me was getting to be myself, free of the shackles of pretending to be somebody I’m not. For me that meant transitioning. It didn’t make me an extrovert, but it did make me better at socializing to feel confident and comfortable with myself. I bring this up because it sounds like you’re in an environment where you can’t be yourself. Escape is not easy, but it can be done.
I’m not gonna lie about false hope in a happy ending. Life will always be a struggle in the best of times, but attempting is not an easy alternative. Trying to overdose and failing is a terrible fate; few things scare me more. Hell, even successful overdoses are usually an awful way to go. So please, don’t do it, especially not with such terrible meds for it.
Also, please tag this NSFW. Your title is fine
the world is better with us in it
if you want to talk to an internet stranger feel free to dm me
if not, i hope you find what you’re looking for, stay safe 🫂If you need someone to talk to, my DMs should be open! If you mean IRL, I guess the only advice I can give out of context is to look for a safe space somewhere.
safety matters a lot, and it’s harder to find than u might think
it does. I’ll be honest, nobody usually comes and asks to talk to me so I instantly assume that if someone wants to, then they must want something from me, IYKWIM
I know, but there’s not much else advice I can give without getting more personal details. And not everyone is willing to give out personal info to internet strangers (myself included, usually)
I usually don’t like giving out personal information too, but I guess lemmy’s still better than any mainstream/data-harvesting platform like reddit, I’d like to make it one of the only spaces where I can express myself and that’s partly why I created an account on this instance lol
I’m in a similar boat struggling to make any offline friends as a shut-in slowly trying to turn my life back around, and it really feels hopeless for me despite my efforts at meeting with people and communities. I have no support network I can rely on or even family that accepts me, so I’m truly on my own when it comes to that and navigating my transition.
Not sure if we share any interests, but my DMs are always open if you’d like someone to talk to. 🤍
I’m usually not that talkative because I can’t keep up with conversations, I’m just naturally awkward lol. and I relate, I have no real friends IRL and when I try to talk about it (online ofc), people usually tell me “why don’t you learn social skills like normal people” I TRIED for years and nothing came out, every single time it ended in a disaster that made me more shut-in. and regarding transidentity, as time passes, I just think that their (my family’s, but also that of most people around me) model is ridiculous and a laughing stock. you’re expected to conform to norms (gender-wise, but not only) that are imposed and feel nothing like you just because some people can’t take identities that are too different or “complicated”. I hope it’ll be better when I move out but I guess it won’t change much, I’ll still have huge problems and no one to rely on or bond with. but for DMs, sure :>
Ugh yeah I can relate when it comes to social skills and I’m pretty quiet myself, though in my case I think I’ll just have to keep looking for opportunities I can get more experience and practice in. I’ve been struggling to put myself out as much as I’d like there, and super unpleasant interactions with strangers who’ve clocked me push me further into staying inside more (and I’m living in one of the most accepting cities out there for trans people). 😔
I’d describe my family as mostly being cruelly indifferent to me, though occasionally they can come across as antagonistic too. I personally haven’t dealt much with them pushing gender expectations on me (a good chunk of why though is because I avoid family gatherings and I have only even come out to a select few of them in the 45 months I’ve been on HRT), but that sounds awfully draining to deal with, as I feel coming out is supposed to help break those constraints and alleviate the pain that comes with them in the first place. I hope you can get to a safer place soon. 🫂
come to the ani.social matrix chat, we love shit chatting about anime related stuff, sometimes food, tech, life and porn
I already have an account
then feel welcome. I remember when I joined it felt difficult to break the stream of messages and find an opportunity to post something, but honestly, just post your thoughts there and you will see people are very friendly to talk to
Internet taught me that there are thousands of people with exact same mindset as me, and that the closest one is 200 miles away.
This may not be useful and perhaps I am in far too comfortable of a position myself at this point.
What I had to learn is that there’s no easy way and no simple order to those things. Talking to people, like public speaking or anything worth doing for that matter is a skill too and you will get better with practice.
Connecting with people is hard, especially when you’re not quite comfortable with yourself. But you learn as you go. What I can tell you is that isolation will not help you grow.
The mistake I once made was in thinking that I’d need someone else to save me. But no one person can do that.
Treat your mind like you would your body. It too can get injured and need time to heal, but can also become stronger and more resilient.
Anyway, excuse my ramblings. DM me if you want some poetry or edgy self-coined quotes :)
