I read posts like this and I wonder if there are labels for my dysfunctions. I suspect I have ADD and am somewhere on the spectrum. But I’ve lived with it for so long, that I am very high functioning these days. A lot of the symptoms just got better over time.
Same here, everytime I see a post like this I think that I may be on the spectrum, but on the other hand I don’t see any benefit on getting diagnosed now other than curiosity.
Also makes me wonder what else I’ve believed it’s completely common, but it’s not.
Ohhhhhh no.
So… I’m a late diagnosed fuck head. I had that same train of thought. Here’s what actually happens.
You get put on meds that make absolute, dead ass silence tolerable.
That in and of itself is surreal.
Then you explore more. Find these new limits without the constant distraction.
Immediately feel ripped off by life realizing how many more actual important things you could’ve stomped out in a day without a weeks worth of planning and monkey paw style wishes and false promises.
Pivot to hating everyone “normal” for “being lazy and not using this inherent super power”. (This sounds familiar? Lazy. Just need discipline! Boot straps!)
Slowly realize now YOU have the actual super power.
Get used to the meds. Become reliant on them to even be half as functional as you were when they were new, though still significantly better than you were, it is never like that first month.
Queue exploring other medications with your doctor who assures you they care, but now you’re suspect for asking instead of being offered.
These are controlled substances, after all.
Maybe now you’re not addicted to being normal and productive, and can actually function more than base survival.
Jesus fuck holy hell this was me down to the letter. Only difference was my meds worked for probably a year, which made the drop in productivity even more obvious. Like a ‘why brain no worky’ moment that just curved down over time. I had other shit going on though that I like to partially attribute, plus my med spiking up to 450 a month was enough for me to get off meds which was even more horrifyingly bad. Now 2 years later I’m back to being unproductive and kicking myself 10 times harder because I know what I’m capable of. Queue the endless anxiety / stress / guilt cycle. Now I have to go through finding another doc, then 6 months of scaling whatever med, that’s if I ever remember after work that I need to do it to begin with. Only time I ever remember is laying in bed at night losing sleep because of the amount of anxiety I have from not performing.
I’m stealing this for the next psychologist and/or psychiatrist appointment; more or less sums up my goals and expectations for ADHD treatment (although I’m not especially interested in stimulant meds, pharmacy juggling to find meds in stock sounds like hell)
Protip: Tell the doctor it’s wearing off too early so they increase your dosage. Only take the normal amount until you have a month backup stockpile, then renew your script at a lower rate. The doctor will understand if you’re only renewing every other month because you forget or don’t bother to take it some mornings.
I tried to get tested, but when I took the initial questionnaire I felt like so many of my coping mechanisms were working that the questions didn’t really apply. So I don’t have ADHD, I’m just a lazy fuck, I guess.
I pointed out to the doctor that tested me how I could answer many questions as a 1 or a 5 depending on how I interpreted it. For example, “have problems with being on time.” I could say never or almost never, or I could say the overwhelming fear of losing track of time and being late ensures I’ll do nothing beforehand and leave way too early out of boredom/anxiety.
In the end I put 5 because what they’re looking for is if you’ve struggled with these problems for your whole life. Learning and implementing coping mechanisms isn’t an argument against that struggle, it’s evidence for it.
But for what it’s worth, I answered 1 the first time I took
one of those and went 12 more years without getting diagnosed. I think about that a lot.
You’re right, and I suppose I should have answered that way, but for now I’m undiagnosed and unmedicated. However, being aware of the pitfalls I at least feel better equipped to understand and counteract some of my more detrimental idiosyncracies.
I think most of the time when the conversation comes up I don’t feel “qualified” to talk about it because a doctor hasn’t given me the ADHD Purity Seal of Approval, and in turn I feel a little bitter there seems to be this sort of “label that explains why you’ve struggled your whole life,” but I don’t get to have it because of a technicality.
I only mentioned it because it took me a long time to realize, and if you ever try again I hope it helps.
Even after getting a diagnosis my brain keeps moving the goalposts, so I get it. Now I keep thinking things like: “it’s just one opinion”, “maybe they were being generous”, etc. I don’t know if I’ll ever give myself a damn break. But I can easily say the words to other people.
The fact is, getting ADHD properly diagnosed is extremely variable. Some people are much easier to diagnose, and some doctors are much better. Those of us still figuring this out later in life aren’t the easy cases, and a lot of doctors won’t look too hard. It doesn’t make your case any less valid. It just means you have to work that much harder to get the right diagnosis - while struggling with a condition that literally makes it harder.
I read posts like this and I wonder if there are labels for my dysfunctions. I suspect I have ADD and am somewhere on the spectrum. But I’ve lived with it for so long, that I am very high functioning these days. A lot of the symptoms just got better over time.
Same here, everytime I see a post like this I think that I may be on the spectrum, but on the other hand I don’t see any benefit on getting diagnosed now other than curiosity.
Also makes me wonder what else I’ve believed it’s completely common, but it’s not.
Ohhhhhh no. So… I’m a late diagnosed fuck head. I had that same train of thought. Here’s what actually happens.
You get put on meds that make absolute, dead ass silence tolerable.
That in and of itself is surreal.
Then you explore more. Find these new limits without the constant distraction.
Immediately feel ripped off by life realizing how many more actual important things you could’ve stomped out in a day without a weeks worth of planning and monkey paw style wishes and false promises.
Pivot to hating everyone “normal” for “being lazy and not using this inherent super power”. (This sounds familiar? Lazy. Just need discipline! Boot straps!)
Slowly realize now YOU have the actual super power.
Get used to the meds. Become reliant on them to even be half as functional as you were when they were new, though still significantly better than you were, it is never like that first month.
Queue exploring other medications with your doctor who assures you they care, but now you’re suspect for asking instead of being offered.
These are controlled substances, after all. Maybe now you’re not addicted to being normal and productive, and can actually function more than base survival.
Nope. This must be an addiction issue.
Rinse and repeat.
Welcome to the show.
This is still better than being ignored.
Jesus fuck holy hell this was me down to the letter. Only difference was my meds worked for probably a year, which made the drop in productivity even more obvious. Like a ‘why brain no worky’ moment that just curved down over time. I had other shit going on though that I like to partially attribute, plus my med spiking up to 450 a month was enough for me to get off meds which was even more horrifyingly bad. Now 2 years later I’m back to being unproductive and kicking myself 10 times harder because I know what I’m capable of. Queue the endless anxiety / stress / guilt cycle. Now I have to go through finding another doc, then 6 months of scaling whatever med, that’s if I ever remember after work that I need to do it to begin with. Only time I ever remember is laying in bed at night losing sleep because of the amount of anxiety I have from not performing.
I’m stealing this for the next psychologist and/or psychiatrist appointment; more or less sums up my goals and expectations for ADHD treatment (although I’m not especially interested in stimulant meds, pharmacy juggling to find meds in stock sounds like hell)
Protip: Tell the doctor it’s wearing off too early so they increase your dosage. Only take the normal amount until you have a month backup stockpile, then renew your script at a lower rate. The doctor will understand if you’re only renewing every other month because you forget or don’t bother to take it some mornings.
I felt the same as you. For Decades. Testing and treatment changed my life dramatically for the better.
I tried to get tested, but when I took the initial questionnaire I felt like so many of my coping mechanisms were working that the questions didn’t really apply. So I don’t have ADHD, I’m just a lazy fuck, I guess.
I pointed out to the doctor that tested me how I could answer many questions as a 1 or a 5 depending on how I interpreted it. For example, “have problems with being on time.” I could say never or almost never, or I could say the overwhelming fear of losing track of time and being late ensures I’ll do nothing beforehand and leave way too early out of boredom/anxiety.
In the end I put 5 because what they’re looking for is if you’ve struggled with these problems for your whole life. Learning and implementing coping mechanisms isn’t an argument against that struggle, it’s evidence for it.
But for what it’s worth, I answered 1 the first time I took one of those and went 12 more years without getting diagnosed. I think about that a lot.
You’re right, and I suppose I should have answered that way, but for now I’m undiagnosed and unmedicated. However, being aware of the pitfalls I at least feel better equipped to understand and counteract some of my more detrimental idiosyncracies.
I think most of the time when the conversation comes up I don’t feel “qualified” to talk about it because a doctor hasn’t given me the ADHD Purity Seal of Approval, and in turn I feel a little bitter there seems to be this sort of “label that explains why you’ve struggled your whole life,” but I don’t get to have it because of a technicality.
I only mentioned it because it took me a long time to realize, and if you ever try again I hope it helps.
Even after getting a diagnosis my brain keeps moving the goalposts, so I get it. Now I keep thinking things like: “it’s just one opinion”, “maybe they were being generous”, etc. I don’t know if I’ll ever give myself a damn break. But I can easily say the words to other people.
The fact is, getting ADHD properly diagnosed is extremely variable. Some people are much easier to diagnose, and some doctors are much better. Those of us still figuring this out later in life aren’t the easy cases, and a lot of doctors won’t look too hard. It doesn’t make your case any less valid. It just means you have to work that much harder to get the right diagnosis - while struggling with a condition that literally makes it harder.
I have the same thing, anxiety about being late counteracts my minds want to wander and fuck off into the unknown.
I cannot recommend testing and treatment enough
I’d be careful with diagnosis in the US right now, given RFK Jr’s remarks about ADHD work camps and autism cures.