Pinball is life. Forrest Gump got it wrong. Life is not like a box of chocolates. It is like a pinball game. You’re bouncing around like crazy and then suddenly it all ends when you go down the drain…
What was worse for me? I began suffering from a kidney stone when I was parked at a New Jersey turnpike rest area/service area.
In a semi truck.
Almost 1000 miles from home or anyone I know
With my dog in the truck.
Obligatory pic. Gina, the dog in the story, is no longer with us, but she is the golden/husky mix, while Zeus, the bigger black and white mutt still is.
A dog that had horrible separation anxiety and would chew her way out of said truck if I left her in it with the climate controls on, for more than a few minutes.
I wound up calling 911, since obviously I’m not getting a semi truck into a hospital parking lot, and explaining the situation to the dispatcher. By the time the ambulance got to me, I was doubled over, dry heaving in the parking lot, with my dog freaking out thinking I’m about to die.
In her defense, by then, so did I. I still didn’t know it was a kidney stone, and my mind was going immediately to “burst appendix”, and me dying a thousand miles from home, in the middle of the night, leaving a wife and a daughter behind…
Ambulance crew loaded up me AND my dog, and one of the EMTs called the hospital, and got that handled.
The hospital security team babysat her, while the nurses and doctors fussed over me.
When it was time to get back to the truck, I tried to call a cab. None would take me back because of the dog. She wasn’t a big dog, but not a lapdog either.
Needless to say when the head ER nurse found out, she flipped her shit in perfect, foul-mouthed, Jersey attitude, and this southern boy loved her for it.
She said “I’ll take you myself if this guy doesn’t, and if he doesn’t, his fuckin whole company will be banned from this whole muthafuckin hospital!”
As an aside, that’s when it clicked that New Englanders ain’t rude or unfriendly. They just express love differently. 😂
Damn. I rambled like hell, but. It all needed to be said anyway
Dude… fuck me that was something else. And yeah, sometimes we need to let loose and tell what the hell happened in as much detail as possible to get closure.
Real answer: insurance salesman in the 90’s.
This was a slightly exagerated, but rather typical upper-upper-middle class house.
A friend of a friend’s dad had the same job, and a similar sized house. Guy had his own pinball room.
He also had a daughter that was in a secret relationship with my girlfriend (that they thought I didn’t know about.)
Scissor-box it out with your “friend” all you want, free pinball is free pinball.
Pinball is life. Forrest Gump got it wrong. Life is not like a box of chocolates. It is like a pinball game. You’re bouncing around like crazy and then suddenly it all ends when you go down the drain…
Know what else is like pinball?
Kidney stones. Definitely feels like you’re getting your balls thrown into a lot of shit.
That sounds incredibly painful.
Good. That’s what I was aiming for.
It is painful.
What was worse for me? I began suffering from a kidney stone when I was parked at a New Jersey turnpike rest area/service area.
In a semi truck.
Almost 1000 miles from home or anyone I know
With my dog in the truck.
Obligatory pic. Gina, the dog in the story, is no longer with us, but she is the golden/husky mix, while Zeus, the bigger black and white mutt still is.
https://tinypic.host/image/Snapchat-1486115008.3dlaJ4
A dog that had horrible separation anxiety and would chew her way out of said truck if I left her in it with the climate controls on, for more than a few minutes.
I wound up calling 911, since obviously I’m not getting a semi truck into a hospital parking lot, and explaining the situation to the dispatcher. By the time the ambulance got to me, I was doubled over, dry heaving in the parking lot, with my dog freaking out thinking I’m about to die.
In her defense, by then, so did I. I still didn’t know it was a kidney stone, and my mind was going immediately to “burst appendix”, and me dying a thousand miles from home, in the middle of the night, leaving a wife and a daughter behind…
Ambulance crew loaded up me AND my dog, and one of the EMTs called the hospital, and got that handled.
The hospital security team babysat her, while the nurses and doctors fussed over me.
When it was time to get back to the truck, I tried to call a cab. None would take me back because of the dog. She wasn’t a big dog, but not a lapdog either.
Needless to say when the head ER nurse found out, she flipped her shit in perfect, foul-mouthed, Jersey attitude, and this southern boy loved her for it.
She said “I’ll take you myself if this guy doesn’t, and if he doesn’t, his fuckin whole company will be banned from this whole muthafuckin hospital!”
As an aside, that’s when it clicked that New Englanders ain’t rude or unfriendly. They just express love differently. 😂
Damn. I rambled like hell, but. It all needed to be said anyway
Dude… fuck me that was something else. And yeah, sometimes we need to let loose and tell what the hell happened in as much detail as possible to get closure.
Used to work in a life insurance company and the president bragged about how the top sellers got more money that him.