Also, what are your favorite comebacks to bullies?
I need to stop trying to change unchangeable people. I’ve been through so many bad faith people who dehumanize at every turn whenever they feel they won’t get consequences. I need to make there be consequences for dehumanization.
Someone said to me “What if there’s a predatory creep that you don’t know how to socially shut down, and they feel emboldened because you don’t roast them?” I said that’s happened. They said i need to practice in lower risk scenarios. Maybe I get roasted for calling someone an asshole. One day that can turn into me and the dehumanizer going 50/50, me and them both getting half the roast. But to even get there I have to start by being roasted by bullies.
I won’t get anywhere if I don’t start clapping back and getting roasted many times by many assholes.
Lame isn’t a very kind word to use in this context, but I understand what you mean.
Damarcusart gave you some solid advice. Personally I do not think “gray rocking” is a good idea. I’ve seen kids and adults get beaten up for not responding to bullies. I like what they said about not being an easy target or being a dangerous target. I think the latter offers more protection for yourself though. Bullies and assholes of all kinds respond to one thing most of all, social pressure. If you are able to put a group of people around you who agree that this roasting thing is nonsense, you’ll be safe. If you isolate yourself then you make yourself an easy target. Make friends with people who are kind to you and make you feel safe.
Why is it not kind? Is Lame an offensive word in any way?
Majority of the time when im bullied, I haven’t been with friends or even strangers. I typically get covertly abused when bullies find themselves alone with me. I want to discourage immature behavior and not allow them to try to get me to absorb their own sense of shame for them. A little roasting is good I think when it comes to covert abusers. Usually there’s no mortal danger, just shame slinging. In such cases, I want to hand the shame back into the hands it belongs it. Nothing further.
Lame can be read as an ableist term. Pretty simple.
As others have said, there’s nothing you say back to them that’s going to make a bully feel ashamed of themselves. They’ll change their behavior if they realize bullying is socially detrimental to themselves. If you’re alone with this person(s) don’t play along with the roasting. Keep your conversations about work or whatever. If they come at you with some bullshit, give them the ‘ol “Sure buddy” and move on.
But probably most importantly is to talk about them to other people. Tell others you think it’s weird and childish what they’re doing. Ingratiate yourself with their friends. Ask, “Why is this person doing that? What’s wrong with them?” You’re not taking the moral high ground here, you’re using social pressure to tell your bully to fuck right the hell off.
Oh okay. Not lame then. More specifically pathetically mean treatment by underdeveloped downpunchers.
I’m not sure what to think of the rest of what you said. I’ll digest it more later.