I enjoy long walks through nuance and strong opinions politely debated. I like people who argue to understand, not just to win. Bring your curiosity and I’ll bring mine.

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Cake day: July 16th, 2023

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  • People can give solid advice even when they are struggling or even when they failed in the same area. A smoker can tell you smoking is bad. Someone whose marriage ended can still recognize unhealthy patterns. Someone who made financial mistakes can warn you about the traps they fell into. Two things can be true at the same time.

    A useful skill is learning to tell when advice is grounded in reflection versus when it is shaped by unprocessed regret. People often speak from a mix of past experience and current emotion. Some insights are helpful, some are fear driven, and it takes a little judgment to sort out which is which.

    So instead of accepting or rejecting advice automatically, it helps to look at where it is coming from. Are they sharing something they have actually thought through, or are they reacting to their own past? The value of the advice depends less on whether their life went well and more on how honestly they have understood it.










  • I want to focus on the structure of the proposal rather than on defending Israeli state policy, which I oppose in many respects.

    As written, the proposal does not clearly define Zionism so much as treat a particular interpretation of it as self-evident, namely that Zionism is inherently a form of settler colonialism. That is a position many people hold, but it is also a contested one, and the policy depends on that premise without unpacking it.

    If the core concern is behavior such as genocide denial, dehumanization of Palestinians, or the repetition of propaganda talking points, those are concrete harms and seem like appropriate moderation targets on their own. Framing the rule around an ideological label instead of specific conduct risks conflating belief, state policy, and online behavior, which are not always the same thing even when they overlap.

    I also share some of the concern about how “pro-Zionist” would be determined in practice. When enforcement depends on interpreting intent or identity rather than observable actions, it increases the risk of inconsistency and misclassification, even with good faith moderation.

    I am not arguing against taking a clear moral stance in support of Palestinians. I am suggesting that the policy would be stronger, clearer, and easier to defend if it focused explicitly on the behaviors and arguments that cause harm, rather than relying on a broad and disputed definition of Zionism to do that work.








  • Bamboodpanda@lemmy.worldtoComic Strips@lemmy.world*Permanently Deleted*
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    2 months ago

    Calling this comic “bait” avoids engaging with what it is actually describing. Dismissing it as provocation reframes women’s experiences as manipulation instead of responding to the pattern being shown, and that reaction itself reinforces the point.

    The first panel matters. A lot of men say they want honesty, but what they often want is honesty that does not hurt. They like the idea of honesty, but do not understand how to use it to reflect, grow, or regulate themselves. When straightforward rejection is met with insults, anger, persistence, or contempt, people learn that honesty is unsafe. That is not gamesmanship. It is conditioning.

    Honesty only works in environments where it is not punished. In my marriage, honesty works because my wife knows it will not be used against her. That took years of consistent behavior to build. Outside of relationships with that level of trust, honesty can carry real social and emotional risk.

    Transparency is not cruelty, but it only functions as kindness when the person receiving it is capable of kindness. If you respond to honesty with hostility, you are not being harmed by truth. You are demonstrating that you cannot tolerate it.

    People who claim to value honesty but lash out when they hear it are not victims of dishonesty. They are teaching others to protect themselves. If you punish honesty, you should not be surprised when people stop offering it.


  • I am beyond tired of seeing “raises ethical concerns” every time something blatantly corrupt happens. I understand Reuters and AP want to sound neutral, but at this point that phrasing just feels like polite fiction. When the president’s son-in-law is financing a $108 billion media takeover that the president himself may influence through antitrust review, that is not a vague “ethical concern.” That is a direct, structural conflict of interest in plain sight. The soft language does not make it responsible journalism anymore. It makes it feel like reality is being systematically understated.