A buddhist vegan goth with questionable humour.

  • 5 Posts
  • 362 Comments
Joined 3 years ago
Cake day: June 19th, 2023
  • Gloomy@mander.xyztoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world•People who have used dating apps before, what was your experience like?
    3·
    15 days ago

    M, late thirties at the time. Okatyish looking.

    I only ever used one website for about 2 months. I looked at profiles and initiated contact most of the time. About 90 % of conversations happend with me writing the first messsge. Chatted for a bit longer with three or four people, but that fizzeled out and never went anywhere. Then wrote with a woman that had actually written me. Got a date in person after writing rather briefly.

    Dated her a couple of days later. Then again the next week and the weeks after that. Married 2 years after our first date, we had twins six months later.

    The crazy thing is that she had only opened the website to delete her profile, but came along mine while doing so. She waited for 2 weeks untill i wrote back.

    So, 100% of all dating website related dates have been a fuckin blast. Highly recommended.

  • Gloomy@mander.xyztoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world•Standardization rule
    15·
    2 months ago

    The reason why this is sensible can be found, for example, in the works of Oscar Wilde. In “Teleny” one can find the following description.

    Be warned: NSFL (Pornograpic and gory):

    Oscar Wilde, Teleny

    Another person had taken the bottle, and had rubbed it over with the grease of a páté de foie gras, then he began to press it in. At first it did not seem to be able to enter; but the Spahi, stretching the edges with his fingers, and the operator turning and manipulating the bottle and pressing it slowly and steadily, it at last began to slide in. “Aie, aie!” said the Spahi, biting his lips; “it is a tight fit, but it’s in at last.” “Am I hurting you?” “It did pain a little, but now it’s all over,” and he began to groan with pleasure. All the wrinkles and swellings had disappeared, and the flesh of the edges was now clasping the bottle tightly. The Spahi’s face expressed a mixture of acute pain and intense lechery; all the nerves of his body seemed stretched and quivering, as if under the action of a strong battery; his eyes were half closed, and the pupils had almost disappeared, his clenched teeth were gnashed, as the bottle was, every now and then, thrust a little further in. His phallus, which had been limp and lifeless when he had felt nothing but pain, was again acquiring its full proportions; then all the veins in it began to swell, the nerves to stiffen themselves to their utmost. “Do you want to be kissed?” asked someone, seeing how the rod was shaking. “Thanks,” said he, “I feel enough as it is.” “What is it like?” “A sharp and yet an agreeable irritation from my bum up to my brain.” "In fact his whole body was convulsed, as the bottle went slowly in and out, ripping and almost quartering him. All at once the penis was mightily shaken, then it became turgidly rigid, the tiny lips opened them- selves, a sparkling drop of colourless liquid appeared on their edges. “Quicker further in-let me feel-let me feel!” 'Thereupon he began to cry, to laugh hysterically; then to neigh like a stallion at the sight of a mare. The phallus squirted out a few drops of thick, white, viscid sperm. “Thrust it in-thrust it in!” he groaned, with a dying voice. The hand of the manipulator was convulsed. He gave the bottle a strong shake. We were all breathless with excitement, seeing the intense pleasure the Spahi was feeling, when all at once, amidst the perfect silence that followed each of the soldier’s groans, a slight shivering sound was heard, which was at once succeeded by a loud scream of pain and terror from the prostrate man, of horror from the other. The bottle had broken; the handle and part of it came out, cutting all the edges that pressed against it, the other part remained engulfed within the anus.