Do not, my friends, become addicted to bad news. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence.
This is what happens when a culture doesn’t understand happiness isn’t the end goal of life. Consumerism which promotes idea of earning your happiness through constant self-improvement has its logical conclusion in this idea that all which isn’t happy or striving for happiness through consumption is wasted. This is functionally same ideology as those social media life coaches selling the hustle grindset.
I think most people’s view of gender and social expectations of its performance are just very unexamined, because they never have cause to examine it and when they are presented a cause such as trans or gender non-conforming people their reaction is confrontational and defensive about their basic assumptions which they never challenge.
I actually think a lot of people who are not themselves trans or gender non-conforming but accepting of those tend to also be accepting broadly but not understanding of these performances or nuances that are constantly reaffirmed through social interactions and can require deconstruction to properly perceive and present.
I am myself cis-male but despite occasionally being confused for a girl in my teen and young adult years it took me until my mid 20s and interacting with trans people to see.
I don’t think people even pay much attention to voice when they perceive gender when they have visual feedback instead and in personal interactions social habits and preconceptions define most people’s approach to gender performance more than anything you do frankly. Center your experience on your own self-actualization in a way that’s pleasant to you and people who would understand you will perceive you in how you express yourself in your own language.
Are you asking for a specific book talking about this concept? I am not sure if there is anything comparative this way but in a lot of cultures historical and contemporary the idea of fulfilment is tied to different formulae (sometimes evoking that image of formula, for example “Alchemy of Happiness” by Al-Ghazali), it is a broad spectrum with variety theological and philosophical understandings whether it is spiritual or mundane. Happiness can come from fulfilment but it is more of a fleeting feeling that’s not reliable as a long term goal so these religious or personal beliefs often emphasize other factors for it, from self-sacrifice to community to purpose whether one agrees or not. Consumerist culture is something else entirely, because it sells happiness which is elusive and hard to define, you are always meant to self-improve towards productivity to service this idea of acquiring happiness as an utilitarian currency which you exchange for your toil so life is proposed as an expense for goal of happiness. This latter idea of consumerism and happiness is something that has been written about specifically. As for the connection of both to each other and this event that’s a personal interpretation I made. I suppose one could just call it a “hot take” that way.