I feel safe around a guillotine, how about you?
SeeMarkFly
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Joined 3 years ago
Cake day: February 2nd, 2024
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2·16 hours agoToo late. Iran just POSTED terms telling the loser what they want.
2·2 days agoA normal, healthy person will pass gas about once an hour.
Good luck.
If he would just stop starting wars he wouldn’t need a war room.
When they first started the noise for blind people to cross, the mockingbirds learned the “song” and would sing at very inappropriate times. That made the city change their tune.
142·2 days agoTrump can’t afford discovery. Too much truth for him.
I’m just glad I could brighten your day.
I’ll be here all week. Try the buffet.
I sharpened my pitchfork.
THEN I had it gold plated for this occasion.
When Trump uses American copyrighted stuff, he gets sued.
If Japan wants Trump to stop they have to start a war.
That’s what Trump wants. Another war.
Good idea.
Make the dish cabinet ANOTHER dishwasher.
42·3 days agoAmerica has become a torture chamber for smart people. Ooh the pain!
The day’s not over yet!
Farts
In particular, what to say after you fart in a crowd (or elevator).
“Take that!”
“What do you say?” like prompting a child to say thank you.
“That’ll be five bucks, you pervert”
“Not a bad sound out of a half inch speaker”
“Did you hear that spider bark?"
“Someone step on a duck?”
“That duck’s got bad breath”
Forest Area Reticulated Tree Spiders (FARTS)
“A bit more choke and that engine will start”
“Did you hear what that asshole just said?”
“There’s someone behind me talking shit!”
“Keep shouting Sir, we’ll find you”
“So sayeth the King”
“I shouldn’t have trusted that one”
“I don’t remember eating that.”
“That’s gonna itch when it dries”
‘‘Two sniffs of that would be greedy’’
“The the horns working, now try the lights”
“Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk”
“The Rear Admiral has spoken”
(Just before you fart) “Alexa, play something by Ed Sheeran”
“Don’t worry, (name), I’ll tell them it was me!”
“You’ve/I’ve got a turd honking for the right of way.”
“Ahh, the ghost of dinners past”
“You got that one for free, next one you will have to pull my finger”
“As foretold by The Prophecy.”
“Now your turn”
The toothless one speaks !
“Sounds much better after my tune up”
“Aaaand…scene!”
“That was supposed to be a song but came out of the wrong end”
“Message from turd castle”
“Glad I’m not in my Space Suit”
“Damn! I was saving that for the elevator”
“An empty house is better than a bad tenant”
“Guess what I had for my last meal”
“This haaause is noww cleeeean”
“carpet frogs”
“Now that I have your attention, we will have a moment of silence for all those that have died in elevator accidents”
1·3 days agoI have seen a fair amount of parroting from them. Still better than the propaganda machines here.
Yea, I’m a big Will Rogers fan.
Of late, they’ve come out of the closet and doing stuff in broad daylight.
Yea, YET!
My government does nothing but lie to me of late.
My dog eats a lot of nasty stuff too. If it’s not any good, it comes back up.
What’s an Amazon?
They’d recognize my LIMP. I have a (documented) broken bone in my foot.
(For a short time I can limp on the wrong foot so THEY have PROOF that it wasn’t me)
The only reason I need a clarinet is so you can hear the noises in my head too.