A solid pun, but I don’t think a 5 year old would understand it.

“Contains adult humour”, says the link preview. “Clean jokes only please”, says the sidebar. Yes, you literally misread the room.

I feel like the phrase “don’t compare apples and oranges” is more like “don’t stick your head into a campfire”. It’s clearly possible, but that’s not the issue here.

Since this is an AI metaphor, the restaurant didn’t hire a cook. They just found a cook with an easily accessible oven and stole a pizza from it.

Hi, sleep deprived. I’m dad! (See how that works?)

Yeah, those should work.

As a plot hook, you could have some rich jerk commission a custom chess set made using the bones/hide of a powerful, possibly endangered creature.

A rival could show up, trying to use monster parts to make checkers tiles.

First off, the answer to your “most important question” is that they are statements. Plain and neutral statements of fact. Anything else you think they are reflects on you.

Second, a maths test is written in the universal language of numbers, so how well you speak English should matter very little. This is a minor point, but it bugs me, so I put it in here for completion sake.

Third, a maths test result is an objective score. Whatever reasons you have for why you got a lower score doesn’t change the fact you got a lower score.

Fourth, if you’re dyslexic, then that would justify getting a lower score. So you shouldn’t compare yourself to a neurotypical person based on your score. You’re both working to different standards.

Fifth, the moral statement was because you suggested love for a child depended on a maths test. That’s fucked up. But the fruits and the children are both things you shouldn’t compare, and that should be your take away.

Sixth, you are also arguing against an autistic interpretation. Being autistic doesn’t mean it’s bad to argue against you. Don’t use neurodivergence as a shield. You do us all a disservice.

I’m disengaging. You should do the same.

How would I know what neurotypical people do? You can hardly compare me to a neurotypical person, that’s like… The phrase escapes me.

I am going to tear apart the insinuation that “it has faults” mean “I love it less.” My favourite D&D movie is the second one, which most people are unaware even exists. I can enjoy a flawed movie while recognising its flaws. Why would my love for my children be dependant on a maths test?

Also, “did worse” is objective when it comes to maths tests. You get graded, and the answers are absolute.

Think of this. One daughter gets A grades in english, but C grades in maths. The other daughter, it’s inverted. Which daughter is smarter? You can’t… Actually, you SHOULDN’T compare them. Morally.

…That separate step is the entire point, though.

Yes, but you are comparing a serving choice to a serving requirement. It hardly seems like a fair comparison.

Shawty got that apple butter jam…

I was referencing a joke about that exact sentiment. You have zero self awareness.

Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?

My go-to is this version, but that’s a bit long to type out on my phone. Either way, appeal to tradition is a joke.

A little girl sees her mum cooking sausages and asks “mum, why do you cut the ends off of the sausages before you fry them?” Her mum replies “well, that’s how I learned it from my mother.”

So the girl calls her grandma and asks “grandma, why do you and mum always cut the ends off of sausages before you fry them?” The grandma replies “well, that’s how I learned it from my mother.”

So the girl calls her great grandmother and asks “great grandma, why do you, mum and grandma always cut the ends off of sausages before you fry them?” The great grandma replies “have they not bought a bigger pan yet?”

Stop it, you’ll give him a boner!

I notice how this is the only comment he didn’t respond to. Rather telling, eh?

Okay, but what if the ring has a sharp gemstone that can make fascists bleed when you punch them? Then it’s pretty AND practical!

“Not now, son. I can’t attend your birthday party because I’ll be busy writing a deadbeat dad who works too much. Luckily, it’s really easy for me to get into his mindset for some reason.”