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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 11th, 2023

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  • It’s OK not to know what you want. It’s especially OK when you’re 18 and in high school. It’s OK to choose an option now and change your mind later (though if you choose no, she probably won’t be available to you later if you change your mind).

    It’s even OK to tell her that you don’t want to talk about your relationship, but she’s probably going to take that as you not wanting to be in a relationship with her. If you don’t want her to take it that way, then you need to talk with her about your relationship even if the thing you have to say is you’re unsure. Of course there’s a good chance she’ll respond unfavorably to your uncertainty; most people don’t like being a second choice or a backup plan.


  • I’m seeing a little of what I’d describe as toxic monogamy in this question. That’s not to imply a monogamous relationship isn’t right for you; it’s what most people want, so just statistically, it’s probably what you and your girlfriend want.

    What I mean by toxic is that the belief that it’s unacceptable to be friends with an ex or that you can’t be in a relationship if your feelings for a former partner aren’t completely gone can poison relationships. People are usually more complicated than that, and while both of those things sometimes lead to problems, they don’t have to. Talking to your partner about their feelings surrounding the issue and agreeing on boundaries that are acceptable to both of you will prevent a lot of problems. That brings us to…

    she asked me about our relationship and I told her to stop talking about it

    I don’t usually like to speak in absolutes when it comes to human interactions because different people are different. I’ll make an exception here though. This was the wrong answer if you want to have a relationship with her.

    It’s still the wrong answer, and that’s where you left things. If you don’t want it to end there, your best chance is to tell her you know that was a mistake, apologize, and offer to talk about your relationship as much as she wants to.


  • With ten finger typing, having the most-used keys on the home row is a significant advantage for speed and ergonomics. With swiping, having a sequence of characters close to each other makes it hard for the algorithm to predict the intended word. With tapping, it’s a disadvantage to have adjacent characters in a sequence on a small touchscreen because it increases the chance of fat-fingering them.








  • I’m not going to tell you what to do. I am going to point out the red flags you cited and ask what you would say to a friend who was considering dating someone who behaves like this.

    he kept talking about… that i should’ve ditched my bf for him

    In other words, he did not respect your relationship when you were in one.

    badmouthed not only his gf of a few years

    He handles struggles in a relationship by badmouthing his partner to others,

    he left her bc she showed signs of schizophrenia

    and uses an armchair diagnosis as an excuse to get out of a relationship instead of just saying it’s not working for him anymore like an adult.

    he kept guilttripping me when i said i didn’t want to be his gf

    He doesn’t care about your preferences, and tries to manipulate you when they don’t match his.