Doubt it. There are plenty of empty houses right now.

I still remember the magazine ad about that

Checks out

I will happily press the function key and then say “aHAH” when it doesn’t work. Then I’ll press a key I know will work.

It actually stands for System TABle

Imagine the inverse, though. Trying to enable them when you need them, but they’re off by default.

Hah.
But also I’ve had a lot of shoulder buttons wear out because of pocket time.

As an interesting aside, try upgrading from Ubuntu 24.04 to 26.04.
They replaced coreutils with a metapackage that uninstalls GNU coreutils and installs one rewritten in Rust.
Or it would install one rewritten in Rust, if it still had any of the coreutils binaries required to, you know, install something.

I am, and you’re right, but my server’s still running Debian

Nope

systemd-resolved is a service. It’s not scope-creep. It’s its own thing built in the systemd framework.

Don’t care, got Heliboard, disabled TLD suggestions on holding period when typing in an address bar and also I set the wallpaper

Please return with updates

You’ve misunderstood something.
systemd-resolved is one of the services that uses systemd’s service management system
You’re saying “don’t use this service management system to manage your services”

I’d have said from Dar! or Oh Joy Sex Toy myself

Me too. :(

Then you’ll be in a good place. With many long-term support releases, you only need to upgrade every 4-5 years and it’s often a relatively painless process.
Also companies like Red Hat offer some enterprise services to individuals (i.e. not for business purposes) and you might get the extended support, which can be up to twelve years in some circumstances.

1. Because coming out as trans can be a very long arduous emotional journey
2. Because it’s also teasing Team Cherry (and by extension her) for taking so long to make Silksong
   Plus hints of feeling seen, catharsis, existential exhaustion…

Also, notably but perhaps not obviously, stable releases still get security patches, just not feature changes.
Don’t think you don’t need updates when updates means five different things.

Me too!