They say Ax-Sys went mad… the first computer system to undergo psychotic collapse — which must prove something…

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Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: July 22nd, 2023
  • Despotic Machine@lemmy.dbzer0.comtoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml•What's your favorite way to respond to unsolicited email ads?
    6·
    11 days ago

    Many, many years ago I received a few emails from an SEO marketing company trying to get me to buy a .com domain from them. They framed it as a wholesome, good Christian option for me buy from their religiously oriented company that used to be run-of-the-mill domain speculators, but had found Jesus and changed their ways, and that by buying my own organizations name with the TLD they already owned (what luck!), no domain squatters would be able to swoop in like demons from hell and confuse or steal my customers. And as a bonus, with God’s ® blessing (which they obviously had), we would all prosper together. They even mentioned some kind of 80% success rate in their rambling (relevant below).

    It was a mix of cult-like religious drivel and used car salesman level marketing gibberish. But it was clear they were serious. For further clarification below, the name of the company and their dogma made reference to the holy trinity, and their emails were chock-full of business/religious text that rambled on about how the Christian faith was the only religion that had such a uniquely powerful religious combo behind it, so we could count on business success by going with them.

    I ignored the first few attempts, then responded so:

    Hello Gary, As you requested I am not hesitating in getting back to you.

    Let me make clear, we have absolutely no interest in any .com domain you may have purchased speculatively, nor are we interested in receiving any further unrequested solicitation from you, your company, or any agents of any religious deities you may have talked yourself into believing in or aligned yourself with, for profit or otherwise.

    To be quite frank, Gary, your website and your company are wholly unappetizing and morally reprehensible to us.

    If you had even bothered looking at the domain in question you would see it is not commercial nor is it about branding or marketing anything. Branding is for cattle, for sheeple, for business creeps with 80% success rates…But I digress, Gary.

    Let the domain squatters have it (the domainless are still without domains). We love, respect, and wholeheartedly support squatters. They wouldn’t spam us like some two-bit ‘Domain Name Acquisition Specialists’ claiming to possess some kind of blessed miracle domain acquisition software that guarantees profitable results, amen.

    Give us a break, Gary. What are you gonna promise next, some kind of transubstantiation? I never even got the pony I asked both Santa and your God for repeated throughout my brainwashed childhood. Too late now, Gary. As you can see, I am jaded - decidedly atheist, maybe even a little satanic in your books.

    Being the moral and ethical company that we are sure you have become since you stopped your wicked speculating ways, our advice to you is: Go blow smoke up someone else’s arse, Gary.

    Your Beliefs: Profit

    Your Goals: Profit

    Your Vision: Profit

    Your God: Profit

    Thank you for the chuckle, Gary.

    ******.org

    Bonus Material

    As for your concept that the Tripod represents the trinity; and that this is a Christian concept:

    In Indian religion there is the Trinitarian group of Brahma, Vishna, and Shiva; in Egyptian religion there is the group of Kneph, Phthas, and Osiris. In Phoenicia the trinity of gods were Ulomus, Ulosuros, and Eliun. In Greece they were Zeus, Poseidon, and Aidoneus. In Rome they were Jupiter, Neptune, and Pluto. In Babylonia and Assyria they were Anos, lllinos, and Aos. Among Celtic nations they were called Kriosan, Biosena, and Siva, and in Germanic nations they were called Thor, Wodan, and Fricco. Trinities of gods existed in other cultures as well, including, but not limited to, those of Siberia, Persia, Japan, Scandinavia, and Mexico.

    In fact, the trinity is not even mentioned in the Bible, not in the Old Testament, nor in the New Testament.