I highly doubt that…you give me like, I dunno, let’s say 5 people, and a catapult, and I bet you I can hit a giraffe before it gets struck by lightning.

Even more confident if you give me a people-sized potato cannon.

The Onion should copy the White House and just start scribbling through the mass shooting article headline they repost each time with red crayon.

“He should have gotten a job with health insurance so he can afford therapy!”