Depression gang here. I’m in therapy. Does it help? I don’t know, but I’m also a full-time student, which at least distracts. I’m dating a guy who has my level of depression but lacks my sex drive and middle-class background, and I’ve had meaningful long-distance relationships as well, so I understand what you’re experiencing. The trouble is that depression has many causes, and if it’s chronic then you can get triggered by something and your whole day is ruined at the very least, and sometimes these spells last for months. There is no easy cure, but if he’ll listen you can give him basic advice on finding help.

I had a strong feeling of being bisexual in high school. Was totally open about it but nobody listened because I was a virgin.

I’m disappointed that there isn’t more information provided on what he looked like after 10 years. I imagine partially decomposed and not preserved since he was on the outside of the fridge. People would have smelled something for a while and probably dismissed it as food waste.

Grindr is full of kinky people. It’s also full of ad spam and bots. Scruff is a little more dignified but it’s mainly for bears, and the more attractive of them sometimes put things like “no fem” on their profiles. The only one I wouldn’t recommend is Recon, which is kink-focused, and only because I’ve never even come close to getting a date through that, though I am in the US.

Apps I haven’t tried: I hear Barq is good for furries. Feeld is a kink-focused app but I think it’s mostly straight people.

I’m sorry for all of these things you feel, some of which I too feel. Maybe you could try counseling (again, assuming that was part of your process for getting HRT). I started HRT about a year ago at 31 and I was socially transitioning for 6 months before that. I don’t trouble myself with the metaphysical, but I definitely relate to gender dysphoria and depression.

Regarding trans acceptance, I think the congresswoman’s views are maybe a bit too moderate, and civil rights are things to fight for when 1/3 of the country possibly hates us. It took over 100 years after emancipation for African-Americans to gain acceptance without segregation. In the country’s history, we have never had a woman in the White House, except for Harris’s vice-presidency. Equality takes a strong effort against the current of neo-Nazism and other brands of hatred, and I hope the many decades of trans history (when trans people have been known as such) mean enough to people that a basic level of public acceptance without open hatred can be found in the places we live.

That sucks. I’m on my way to getting counseling for some of what I feel. I’m using non-binary gender identity as a way to bridge to where I’m going, but a lot of American institutions under the dictator are forced into black-and-white logics. I can only reassure you that hairy arms are normal for most adults, including my mother. It isn’t hard to shave them, though I recommend hair removal cream around the wrist bones to avoid cuts.

I don’t tuck and don’t know beyond trusting spiro to do its job. Responding because I thought the title was “advice on fucking” which I can definitely provide. :)

It would help more if it were inside me 😖

A few months I was walking, possibly jaywalking, and someone shouted “removed!” out of their car window as they passed me. That was probably the only time I’ve ever passed for cis.

The only thing I do is makeup. It’s a skill that takes time to learn, so it accomplishes consumption of time, gender affirmation, and self-improvement.

I sympathize with these feelings, and I’m sorry you’ve had to wait so long to get this taken care of. Be confident that it isn’t that far in the future.

As for my experiences, I can personally relate to gender dysphoria but not genital dysphoria. I missed out on a lot of gay experiences when I was younger because, while I’ve always liked dicks, I’ve never seen masculinity as a positive trait, and the one gay guy I knew in high school was very masc and went to the gym and stuff. I’m dating another transfem with a similar background to my own, and (perhaps because they look more feminine than I do and have stronger dysphoria) they’re asking me to boymode, which I hadn’t done in about a year. I do it because I care about them and desperately need that relationship. (Abandonment issues.) Plus it’s just something different.

My suggestion, beyond taking solace in the fact that you have a surgery planned, is to spend time with a partner, be it someone who is trans or someone who understands the trans experience more than a completely cis person. Intimacy with someone you’re attracted to and know and understand can be therapeutic.

Cutie <3

I never watched. I feel like there should be shows in the “new adult” category that focus more on gay dating clubbing drama and sex, with less focus on tragedy and high school bs. It’s strange to be like an exotic species in the media when irl half of the people I run into are openly queer. I don’t mean to judge but the way the book and show are marketed seems strange to me