They also said that they were cancelling lifetime contracts that hadn’t been used in 6 months. Hard to see how those could be sinking the company.

That’s the BBC editorial team at work. The letter was signed by 400 artists.

They’ll probably publish the abridged version, sadly. The full version reads, as we well know:

Thou shall not commit adultery but, if thou doest, thou shalt pay off the other woman so that it harmeth not thy chances in the presidential election. Nor shall it turn thy supporters against thee when they heareth of it.