All the way back during the election I noticed the damn orange makeup kept looking worse than usual and it took a bit to put my finger on why, but then it clicked - as he gets paler, the contrast between the orange and his actual skin gets more and more pronounced. Look at his ears. Dude is pasty as all fuck.

I mean, ideally we shouldn’t be just running celebrities but after 8 months of this shit I don’t give a fuck anymore. Mentally I am here:

If it works I literally could not care less. Clearly the people want vibes so let’s just give them the fucking vibes and deal with THAT issue when things aren’t actively on fire.

Whatever else Stewart is, he’s knowledgeable, charismatic, willing to fight for a cause, and DOES genuinely seem to give a fuck about the average person. That’s a damn good start at least.

And all of THAT is even under the assumption we get something at least vaguely resembling a normal election, which at this point I think is entirely dependent on when exactly Diddler on the Roof finally strokes out on the shitter.

Assault with a breadly weapon

Not sure how I feel about this remake of Misery, but John Goodman as Annie Wilkes is definitely some interesting casting.

Okay, but consider that 20% of those children…may have voted for him

I mean…they quite literally didn’t on account of, y’know, they’re children

Honestly he’s not even doing THAT particularly well. This looks like it could be achieved in about half an hour with a trip to a craft store and a truly batshit amount of gold spray paint.

rather than dropping down through a trapdoor, the condemned would be violently jerked into the air by means of a system of weights and pulleys

Combine it with a trebuchet and Wile E Coyote the bastards.

I feel like there should be an addendum called Trump’s razor: if there’s a possible explanation that’s both malicious AND stupid, it’s probably the correct one. Your previous theory would fit.

I quite like pineapple and feta. Nice sweet and salty combo.

Basically the same way the douchey rich kid who’s tolerated because he’s got a Playstation AND an N64 is “popular”.

Trump is Cocomelon for racist manchildren. Jimmy the Loveseat can sound vaguely coherent in carefully scripted and rehearsed contexts but anything even REMOTELY improvisational and he falls apart like a wet napkin. He’s a blatant puppet who was chosen purely for the ability to fit the largest number of rolexes in his colon.

Graduated in '07 and yeah, all Mean Girls was missing was Happy Bunny and these fucking things:

Anal bum cover for 300

Also if he’s been wearing compression dressings it would explain the photos from a while back where he clearly had something on his legs under his pants.

Especially in NYC. Bike delivery has been a thing there long before uberdashhub. Hell, it was a fucking plot point in Spiderman 2 back in 2004:

Gonna need to spend a lot of time scrubbing ducks with dish soap if we dump something that greasy into the ocean.

Yup. That’s why the whole “weird” thing Harris’ campaign did towards the beginning was so effective and why they never should have fucking abandoned that strategy. You can’t use logic on someone occupying a completely different reality and even rage, however justified, often just gets used as fodder for them to play the victim. But make a narcissist feel embarrassed? Make them feel they’re being mocked? They completely fucking short circuit.