If you’re a good hang you could still be a boon. I’d rather be in an apocalypse with someone with a positive outlook and a good sense of humor than an asshole with twenty flash lights. You have to remember that even in the world that we live in now, clowns and comedians get sent to hospitals and war torn countries.

No, because I was planning on using a water based lubricant

You’re right, guess I’m just gonna give everyone hand jobs or are you going to tell me I need to build my own sex robot from scratch?

Come back for next week’s episode and see that I’ve learned ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

I remember sitting down with my family to watch a new episode of Fresh Prince.

I’m sorry, sometimes I forget not everything on the internet is a joke. You have my condolences and I wish you strength.

He’s still alive, he just starred in a comedy-drama directed by Olivia Wilde! You should talk to him!!!

As a child John Wayne Gacy went diamond in League of Legends.

I see your point, a few years ago while playing Halo on the xbox a guy said he pwned me. I later learned that pwned stood for owned. Since then I’d been worried that I got cloned (copied). Thank you for clarifying.

Well, your negative comment made me spiral and transformed me into a speed bump on the road to progress. /s

I’m sure there’s some way for you to 100% this game. Have you tried peptides, stemcel therapy, human growth hormone, blood doping, F1 cognitive reflex exercises or whatever else modern science can provide?

I bought this game, I didn’t know it was this deep. I’m gonna play it again!

It’s fine, he can remember the hugs of his ancestors.

Correct but it requires an anal probe to function correctly. Plus the administrator needs to wear nipple clamps, nobody knows why it was programmed that way.

Real Australian Sci-fi: What if there was a woman named Muriel who loved Abba and went on vacation?

I shoved a couple of blocks down my throat during the national anthem. For lunch I microwaved a couple of blocks and added them to my coffee. My remaining blocks I’ll probably have in a smoothie.

Fun fact about wikipedia, a friend of mine attended wikimania. He told me that while there, he learned that many of the volunteers are neurodivergent men, this is why wikipedia contains so much detailed information on birds and trains.

Tap credit card to parry, hold credit card down to block. Move credit card forward, down, down-forward followed by payment to shoryuken.

I think it would have more significance, imagine there was a single immortal entity that looks exactly like one of your body parts. I guarantee you people are chopping off each other’s hands and offering them to the “hand god”. And don’t even get me started on feminism, is it a male hand, is it a female hand? What does it mean?

Philosophy, science and even art would all be vastly different. Imagine you’re Martin Heidegger and you try to reason that mortality makes an authentic and meaningful life possible. Yeah sure Marty, then why the fuck does this giant hand squish people? This giant hand is immortal, and it’s giving all of our lives meaning. Do you not think the fucking hand knows that? Do you know why the hand is doing what it does? Do you think we’re somehow better than the hand because we die?

Or maybe you’re Frederick Nietzsche. And you are wondering about eternal recurrence. Would someone willingly live the exact life forever? I don’t know dumb ass, have you considered asking the big giant floating hand?

These are just a few examples but you are vastly underestimating the significance of the giant floating hand.

20.000 a year without hope or prospects.