Ticketmaster

• Online fee: $73.27
• Convenience fee: $13.22
• Keyboard fee: $7.40
• Nickel and dime fee: $0.15
• Sponsor fee powered by Pepsi MAX: $23.83
• Satanic fee: $6.66
• H@X0R fee: $13.37
• CrAzY 8’s fee: $88.88
• It’s your lucky day! fee: $4.17
• Prime fee: $37.00
• Accountants told us we could do this fee: $21.66
• We hate fans fee: $51.96
• We also hate the band fee: $61.05
• Notices bulge fee: $OwO
• Oh and the venue can eat a dick fee: $20.80
• Asking you to buy insurance fee: $4.93
• We put your name in the Goblet of Fire fee: $3.82
• Free fee: $0.01
• Enter your birth year: 1979
• Good Smashing Pumpkins song fee: $19.79
• Your birth year divided by 100 fee: $19.79
• Neighbor fee: $1.32
• Weed fee: $4.20

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I found an Ubuntu 12.10 DVD on one of my spindles the other day and spun it up and oh my god how the memories came flooding back. I kinda loved Unity at the time. I mean, I’m not giving up Plasma for it, but I thought Unity was so refreshing coming off of Windows 7/8.

That’s the lesson I learned with my credit cards. I took out a loan to pay them off and as soon as they were paid off, I closed them. The sugar is too sweet, and the goblin is ravenous. It’s too easy to use the credit card to acquire junk. Next thing you know, over 25% of your income is going toward credit cards, and you’ve got nothing to show for it.

I finally said fuck that shit. They need me more than I need them. It’s a shame the realization took so long.

The only way to win the game is to not play.

And you’re goddamned right.

That’s because if you don’t get carbonated horse piss, it’s actually just your blinker fluid!

Has the guy with the gun always had the Ohio flag on his sleeve?

Welp, I just learned something new and useful by logging into Lemmy at 1:30 AM.

Have you ever honked a Jesus if you Jesus honk Jesus honk have you that you if you Jesus love love honks that you loved the Jesus that you ever loved?

Still too bloated. My hard limit is 950 bytes.

Or, as I’ve recently taken to calling it, GNUSS plus Linussy

>be me, Gentoo user
>hear about this new pussy package
>will spend the next several hours compiling the pussy source code
>later virgins

Time to install PCSX2 and play some Gran Turismo on this puppy.

Cleavage, dude.

Piano-man, piano-man. Does whatever a piano can. Falls on crooks from real high. Squishes them. Kills those guys.

Look out. He is the piano-man

Mmmmm idk, I’ll take my old beater Civic over any new Kia, Hyundai, Nissan, or Stellantis product.

Hell, just the fact that you can’t buy a low trim Civic or Corolla with a stick shift anymore is kinda tragic.

The 90s are where cars peaked, and I will die on that hill.

Best part of driving a total bucket. You’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel carjacking me.

Nah, the pros know that it’s practice that keeps you at the top of your game.

Damn. I hate to hear that. Guess I’ll scratch them off my list.

As I’ve heard it:

• Bosch makes the best dishwashers
• Speed Queen makes the best laundry machines
• Asko and Miele make the best stoves and fridges

And yes, they are all very expensive. But I want to get me a Speed Queen so bad.