The trees are just asking for a high five. It would be rude of me to leave them hanging.
This reminds me of when I was in high school and our gym class was walking around the track outside. At one end, there were huge bushes. It was spring time and they were full of pollen. My friends and I would walk by the bushes, smack them, then when a cloud of pollen flew up we’d say, “Tree sperm!” as teenagers are prone to do.
It was all fun and games until the gym teacher accused us of smoking. Apparently he couldn’t tell the difference between a cloud of pollen and cigarette smoke. It was weird because not a single one of our group had ever touched a cigarette, and we didn’t slow down around that turn, we just smacked the bushes while walking the route. We told him the truth and he didn’t believe us, so we said to go ahead and test us. Nothing ever came of it, except the annoyance from it that’s somehow stuck with me for 20 years.
Me: But why? Brain: You gotta.
The tree replies: “Harder daddy!”
Slaps branch a bit harder and spits on tree trunk, steps on root
Filthy tree.
Grinds heel into dirt
Oh, you like that, do you!?
Picks up maple seed and drops it. The maple seed falls like a helicopter
Tree shudders in the wind
Sometimes I think that’s how we instinctively cleared paths through forests back in the day. When lots of ppl took the path or few repeatedly and a branch was dangling and many slapped it, it keeps it small or makes it fall off.
