I look back on friends I had, they were always special. Special in a duals sense: Different than “others”, rather easy to communicate with and much cooler. They had a tendency to not proper express themself to others, were made fun of and seen as “not normal”. However they were always special to me in the sense of special cool, like overlooked gems. Not easy to describe.
I had a coworker, who was like that. He was seen as weird, bad in expression, communication and maybe slower in thinking. Yeah he was made fun of, however only I manage to deal with him and it was actually the opposite. They way of communication was simply different and way more easy going, concrete and without the need to look out which expression something on the face makes if you say something. The process of thinking was rather better and faster, you just needed to include more relevant information and discard unimportant. It was such a dream to describe something with fewer words and he could understand complex abstractions (Work in IT, programming included). Also I was able to understand what he thinks, why and what he means. The same also for him, I was never so easily understood. I liked him a lot and he was easily amazed if I showed cool stuff, concepts or ways to do something. He was absolutely misunderstood. He was not slow in thinking, he was fast. I also need more time if I am not provided with enough information about a topic or rather say with unimportant.
Or an other one I was befriended for a longer time. Weird for others, but actually not in my eyes. Explaining and telling a lot with fewer words, without looking for facial expressions and gestures. Just a dream. Shared interests were IT as well, but also Marxism. His ability to abstract were also superb. Enjoyed a lot to talk with. Friendship ended after long time in an agreement (“Looking now I think it doesn’t make sense to continue this”, which I could only agree).
However I rarely had other friends like such kind of people. I feel some kind of “kinship” to them in the sense, that they are “normal” people I can actually communicate and befriend. However others are exhausting. I have to look way to much for context if I saying something, can it be understood maybe in a unfriendly way, because I don’t invest enough in my facial expression. So much to look for and if rarely befriend one lightly, it doesn’t hold long. Because there is a certain difference, which makes it exhausting for me and I feel like I am misunderstood.
My partner is not like that, we are together for 15 years soon and after so much time living together my partner understands me perfectly of course. But I am being told here and there, that I am maybe seen odd and actually if one of they friends visits us, my partner intercepts sometimes to describe what I want to say. I’m glad that this happens but to be honest in my opinion I say everything the right way.
This special people are special awesome and special cool. But it feels like they are not common and sadly rarely find one in my environment. Right now I have no friends, only my partner and my pigeons. The pigeons are also easy to talk with, same as my partner. However a friend would be nice. Does someone know what kind of folks this cool people are? Where to find them? Or am I missing something. “Special” can be sound negatively I can imagine, but I think it is positive. Like special weapon, special agent etc. I mean it positive. You are free to correct me
I have no real clue what this actually means, despite hearing it sometimes. I understand it simply as an slightly different way of processing stuff in your brain. Nothing bad, just different
You’ve got the right idea of it. Neurodivergent is typically used in relation to ADHD or ASD (autism spectrum), as a way of reframing them more as a difference in the way the brain processes things, rather than being seen as a disorder, in the connotation of pathology and maladaption. Autism in particular has often been stigmatized and framed as a defect, but the current day “spectrum” understanding of it shows there are lots of people who you wouldn’t even guess are on the autism spectrum and lead healthy enough, “high functioning” lives.
That said, sometimes there is controversy over the term neurodivergent (not here specifically, but I’ve seen it on occasion online). The main counterargument being that it can be seen as trivializing the debilitating aspects of ADHD or ASD by framing them as simply a cognitive difference, rather than something that has obvious negative side effects.
Personally, I think the truth is some of both. That ADHD and ASD do have documented negative aspects to them that make life harder for the person who has them; masking" is one of the ways people cope with this, by learning to present as “neurotypical” and this is one reason you wouldn’t necessarily guess a person has it. But also that they do come with cognitive differences and are not only maladaption or disorder. Some of it comes down to calling into question what counts as “neurotypical” in the first place and why. After all, “neurotypical” people are not without struggles themselves.
Neurodivergence and neurodiversity are an umbrella term for far more neurological differences including dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, tourettes and bipolar amongst others. Just as an FYI and not to put the rest of what you said down.
Fair enough. Was not aware of that.