Early on, I had to learn that the traditional idea of masculinity was not only not the only one, but that we’re all free to pick and choose who we are, and then pick our own labels too.
For real, weeding out the toxic crap from the good parts of traditional masculinity that work for me has been the work of a lifetime, even though I had the realization that masculinity and femininity weren’t polar opposites, just notches on a radial spectrum beginning in my tweens (such revelations can be slow in blooming).
For me? The first step was owning my own body via hair. First by ridding myself of it, going with a crew cut because I liked how it looked. Then growing it out because I liked the way it looked more. Two extremes, and they served as parentheses for the essence of my journey into adulthood and manhood.
Hell, in my damn forties, after not only years of fighting over my hair, but accepting that I had to keep my beard a certain way, then becoming disabled in my thirties, I realized I could do whatever the fuck I want with my hair, my body, and my self. So I went full Grizzly Adams, then full Alan Moore lol.
And it’s all back to that essence of rooting out the idea that my masculinity isn’t my own to define. That my body is mine, and not subject to the arbitrary ideals of others.
Early on, I had to learn that the traditional idea of masculinity was not only not the only one, but that we’re all free to pick and choose who we are, and then pick our own labels too.
For real, weeding out the toxic crap from the good parts of traditional masculinity that work for me has been the work of a lifetime, even though I had the realization that masculinity and femininity weren’t polar opposites, just notches on a radial spectrum beginning in my tweens (such revelations can be slow in blooming).
For me? The first step was owning my own body via hair. First by ridding myself of it, going with a crew cut because I liked how it looked. Then growing it out because I liked the way it looked more. Two extremes, and they served as parentheses for the essence of my journey into adulthood and manhood.
Hell, in my damn forties, after not only years of fighting over my hair, but accepting that I had to keep my beard a certain way, then becoming disabled in my thirties, I realized I could do whatever the fuck I want with my hair, my body, and my self. So I went full Grizzly Adams, then full Alan Moore lol.
And it’s all back to that essence of rooting out the idea that my masculinity isn’t my own to define. That my body is mine, and not subject to the arbitrary ideals of others.