“You insist hiking is about ‘the journey.’ That’s exactly what worries me. Any activity whose fans tell you the destination doesn’t matter is admitting somet...

Hey, Maya —

First off, congratulations on becoming an “outdoors person.” Three years ago, you thought mosquitoes were government drones. Now you own boots with names like “Expedition Carbon Ultra GTX.” People change.

I’m happy for you.

Which is why I’d like to offer you fifteen thousand dollars to pretend you never invited me.

Seriously.

Take it.

Use it for backpacks, trekking poles, tiny titanium spoons, or whatever mysterious economy hikers have built among themselves.

I simply cannot spend my Saturday voluntarily climbing a mountain whose greatest achievement is being taller than the parking lot.

  • Chahk@beehaw.org
    3·
    3 days ago

    I have a similar proposition for a friend who won’t shut up about scuba diving. Fuck off, Sean, I get seasick on boats and I don’t care about seeing the bottom of whatever puddle you want to explore. I have a fish tank in my basement, so I’m all set on seeing marine life too.

    • decayedproton@beehaw.orgEnglish
      5·
      3 days ago

      I get seasick on boats

      Sounds like a good reason to get off the boat for a little while. Maybe go for a dive?

    • Powderhorn@beehaw.orgOPEnglish
      5·
      3 days ago

      I mean, if you’ve got 15 grand to burn, I can promise to never ask you to go SCUBA diving.