I’ve always made up a person to fit in. Masking has taken a toll and I hate the person I’ve pretended to be. That person is boring, polished, and an over achiever. Since.I was punished severely on a daily basis at 4 years old and afterwards, my true self never was known to me. Only my self who could survive.

Where do we find our unmasked real self after reaching “the big one” burnout? When your braim stops working, you’re no longer functional, and the person you made can no longer be sustained, what do you do?

I’m in my 40s and it’s rough.

  • surewhynotlem@lemmy.worldEnglish
    31·
    10 days ago

    That’s just another mask.

    Your real self is the you when you’re not trying to be something else. You have to feel safe and be calm and then that’s you. You could possibly alter it with effort, but not as easily as a mask.

    • theneverfox@pawb.socialEnglish
      1·
      9 days ago

      You could possibly alter it with effort, but not as easily as a mask.

      That’s my point. A mask and a face are the same in nature. We all act differently around different people, everyone has different sides to themselves that are all real

      Every mask and face you have is a part of you. It’s not fake, it’s a layer of communication. If you don’t feel comfortable in it, it feels like a mask. That’s entirely what makes it a mask

      You have to examine it and figure out where it doesn’t fit right, and then wear it until the changes become ingrained behavior

      The final step is to accept you’re not wearing a mask anymore

      • surewhynotlem@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        9 days ago

        We all act differently around different people

        You’ve just internalized the problem and called it normal. You shouldn’t need to be different around different people. That’s exhausting and most people don’t do that. That’s the neurodivergent coping mechanism.