I am in limbo where I’m constantly tired and achey, but at the same time I want to be productive and do stuff because I feel guilty about relaxing. I can’t even chill and actually enjoy it. I just wish I could be like everyone else :(
I worked hard on unlearning the capitalist indoctrination. 😌 my worth is not tied to my output.
I still like doing things. I just funnel that into helping others.
if it’s any consolation it’s possible to get over or at least reduce the impact of the urge to be productive, despite capital’s best efforts
in my case i ended up getting a bit of a goddess complex in the process tho, oopsie :3c
I’ve never had a single cell in me that’s even ok with “the grind”. As long as I can remember I’ve always just wanted to take it easy, relax, cozy up (by myself or with anyone else) and just forget time and anything that needs to be done. I have an endless supply of that. My deepest dream is having a partner and friends that just want to cuddle together in a blanket, sit by an open window while it rains and there’s thunder in the distance, having some tea or hot chocolate and candles with nothing to pull our minds from that moment.
