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JimHollow@lemmy.world to Humor@lemmy.worldEnglish · 8 days ago

What do you do if you find this grimoire in your crush's room?

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What do you do if you find this grimoire in your crush's room?

JimHollow@lemmy.world to Humor@lemmy.worldEnglish · 8 days ago
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  • Egonallanon@feddit.uk
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    8 days ago

    • Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world
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      8 days ago

      Strap yourself on?

      • pitiable_sandwich540@feddit.org
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        8 days ago

        No, thats her job.

  • Manjushri@piefed.social
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    8 days ago

    Marry her. True love will follow.

    • renamon_silver@lemmy.wtf
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      8 days ago

      Men can practise witchcraft too

      • Manjushri@piefed.social
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        8 days ago

        Well now, there’s a thought. We even come with a nearly inexhaustible supply of the primary material component for the spell too.

      • Master@sh.itjust.works
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        8 days ago

        Hell yea brother. She tried to dominate you but you control the source! Draw a pentagram on her lower back to lock her in!

  • voxthefox@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    8 days ago

    Brace for the wild ride

  • neo2478@sh.itjust.works
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    8 days ago

    Help her with supplies for her spell obviously

  • Z72.53@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    8 days ago

    Ask them about it. That’s a wild title and it’s a well worn book. There’s gotta be some interesting stories behind it.

  • GraniteM@lemmy.world
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    8 days ago

    Significantly less threatening than this book:

    • OldChicoAle@lemmy.world
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      8 days ago

      Yum yum in the tum tum

  • Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca
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    8 days ago

    I heard there was a grimoire and came as fast as I could.

    • Funkt4st1c@lemmy.world
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      8 days ago

      Funny you should mention that, i have a book here that may help us with those results

  • BaraCoded@literature.cafe
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    8 days ago

    I’ll have a chuckle, then I won’t mind it, because it’s a crush so my judgment is impaired. Time will pass, and from one shitty tarot reading to yet another zodiac tantrum, not forgetting about the lithotherapy pushes, I will slowly come to see that my partner has an output on reality that is completely disconnected from said reality, in which I will feel lonelier and lonelier, until I’m not even feeling like I’m in a couple anymore: I’m the companion of a child in an aging body who has to believe in the magical to cope with the world, instead of being in it with me.

    If it’s all steming from traumas, I’ll first try to have the partner consult a therapist.

    If it’s not, this couple is over. There is no difference between that and AI psychosis. Same with religious partners.

    • Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works
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      8 days ago

      I’m sorry for whatever happened to you.

  • The Infinite Nematode@feddit.uk
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    Why is the witch in the cover art pouring a black liquid into the goblet? Is that… Should it look…

    Guys, have I been doing this wrong??

    • SoupBrick@pawb.social
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      It’s what happens if you eat too much black licorice.

  • Themosthighstrange@lemmy.world
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    8 days ago

    Guys wallet, guys lighter so therfore guys semen book. There are no girls in this storey

    • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
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      What’s a guys lighter?

      • Themosthighstrange@lemmy.world
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        8 days ago

        I assume a dark color like black and not something pink, but i dont speak for all men some guys might perfer pink bics

  • Maestro@fedia.io
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    8 days ago

    Color me surprised, it’s real! https://www.amazon.de/Sexual-Witchcraft-Semen-Rituals-dominate/dp/B0FH5B1S1D

    • Karjalan@lemmy.world
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      8 days ago

      How is it possible that this has Zero reviews?

      • spiffmeister@aussie.zone
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        8 days ago

        Be the change you want to see.

  • MrOtingocni@lemmy.world
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    8 days ago

    Bust a load on the cover and close the drawer.

    I’m a helper!

  • Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world
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    Realize how desperate she was and that explains why she settled for me and maybe we’ll actually have a long-lasting relationship where I don’t have to be worried every day that it’ll finally be the day she figures out she is too good. Also maybe participate in any rituals that sound fun.

  • theblurstoftimes@leminal.space
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    Everybody who’s ever seen “What We Do in The Shadows” knows witches are semen stealers.

  • FlexibleToast@lemmy.world
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    8 days ago

    That sounds like you’re in for some incredible sex with maybe an unstable person.

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