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kasaneteto: im getting really fucking sick of all this “it gets better!” bullshit. im going to have depression for the rest of my life. it’s not going to “”“get better”“” fuck you
kasaneteto: i have really great news guys, despite it all
#it got better :)
That’s the most devious and hateful aspect of depression, the way it makes you believe with 100% certainty in a hopeless future. Like if you felt depression, but you also knew in your bones that it’d pass and you’d be back to a happier state soon enough, it wouldn’t be anywhere near as dangerous. But it really warps your sense of reality. You will look back at your depressed self and wonder what the fuck they were thinking. But no matter how many times you go through it, you never remember how transitory it is the next time it hits you. Gotta leave yourself notes and essays to find when you’re in the pits of despair, like the fella in the movie Memento 😆
it’s in words finally!
yeah it’s insidious. it manifests in many ways but the deadliest part is how it can fuck with your sense of self preservation. and I don’t just mean ending it all, but also how it feels like a truth etched into reality that any attempt to improve things for your future self is a pointless pursuit.
the only reason im still here is because despite it all, I had some people in my life that helped me get to the door. it comes and goes and it’s never intuitive how I can’t truly remember how it feels until it’s already here, but what’s helped is reading my stories from those times of my life. for whatever reason, I find it easier to express my feelings through fiction, rather than writing diary entries. that and therapy. can recommend, very helpful
I’ve never interpreted “Hang in there, it will get better” to mean “Wait and do nothing.” I’ve always seen it more directed at kids who are being bullied more as a directive to “Do what you can to survive. Kids are assholes, parents might be dicks, but if you can make it to adulthood, you can find your people that will accept you for who you are.”
this needs to have a date on the before post.
Nov 9, 2023
I wish initial posting dates were required on all posts.
It doesn’t just get better though. It takes a personal overcoming. It takes effort and discipline, and it takes courage. It’s painful. Rarely does the universe just hand you “better” on a silver platter. This kind of passivity is dangerous.
In the words of inspectah deck
Ready to give up, so I seek the old Earth
Who explained workin’ hard may help you maintain
To learn to overcome the heartaches and pain
I don’t think this post implies passivity. The point that I at least take is that your effort isn’t in service of a meaningless struggle and it is worth it to keep going.
It doesn’t get better for everyone, but eventually you give up on your dreams and go numb and lower all your standards and you can find a way to keep going. Just have to hang in there until your brain acclimates.
Slightly fair. It wont get better on it’s own. It is getting better coz we do things.
Not always. I have these occassional depressions where I am out for almost the entire day–just in bed or minimally functional. Then the sun starts to set and I start to get better having done absolutely nothing for myself.
Sometimes waiting isn’t a bad strategy.
i am happy that Teto Vocaloid is no long depressed.
What if someone has been through numerous “getting better”
The good news is that it gets better.
That bad news is that it also gets worse.
Then they are well positioned to draw some trend lines. Go science!
