women’s only community please only comment if you identify as female or non binary
Far more adult women are murdered by adult men than vice versa. Women are high risk for violence and sexual abuse. We often face bullying at work.
What would help women’s safety?
Like others have said, raising men properly, but also monitoring their internet usage during formative years. If they aren’t given unlimited tablet/internet access, which is often the case, boys will always still find ways to outsmart parental locks, and parents need to stay two steps ahead.
I’ve heard so much messed up stuff involving the internet and Gen Z/Alpha in the news that’s even worse than Andrew Tate exposure.
I’m kind more worried about future Gen Alpha men and younger Zoomers than Baby Boomer men at this point, but hopefully I’m wrong. There’s still time.
Banning trans women from toilets apparently /s
And thank GOD. I’m so much safer now, as science shows 311% of rapes are carried out by trans women in toilets /s
you joke, but we even have empirical evidence now that
- anti-trans policies do not decrease the rate of crime against women and girls, and similarly
- trans-inclusive policies do not increase the crime rates against women and girls:
When laws permit transgender people to access sex-segregated spaces in accordance with their gender identities, crime rates do not increase. There is no association between trans-inclusive policies and more crime. As one of us wrote in a recent paper, this is likely because, just like cisgender folks, “transgender people use locker rooms and restrooms to change clothes and go to the bathroom,” not for sexual gratification or predatory reasons.
Conversely, when trans people are forced by law to use sex-segregated spaces that align with the sex assigned to them at birth instead of their gender identity, two important facts should be noted.
First, no studies show that violent crime rates against cisgender women and girls in such spaces decrease. In other words, cisgender women and girls are no safer than they would be in the absence of anti-trans laws. Certainly, the possibility exists that a cisgender man might pose as a woman to go into certain spaces under false pretenses. But that same possibility remains regardless of whether transgender people are lawfully permitted in those spaces.
Second, trans people are significantly more likely to be victimized in sex-segregated spaces than are cisgender people. For instance, while incarcerated in facilities designated for men, trans women are nine to 13 times as likely to be sexually assaulted as the men with whom they are boarded.
Great comment 👍
There are three ways to keep women safe, and all three ways are needed. Social liberation, economic liberation, and political liberation.
Social liberation
- Eliminate toxic masculinity and fundamentally change how people view masculinity
- Create a culture where people acturally care about women and children, not as a whataboutism or an excuse for oppression but actural care.
- Reform religion, if a religious institution actively defends and hides rapists from accountability then they dont deserve to exist (every religion does this).
- Cultural reform, the way we view ourselves and society must change.
- Bring society together by focusing on walkable cities and people talking to eachother irl. Most importantly foster a positive community.
Economic liberation
- Every worker deserves food and shelter, the right to the fruit of ones labor.
- Abolition of competition as the primary economic motivator. Your fellow worker is not your primary enemy, we should focus on unity and collective efforts above competition
Political liberation
- Abolish all institutions that seek to divide us
- Abolish all unjust hierarchies
- Ensure freedom and justice as a basic human right for all
- Abolish reactionary thought and ideas
Remember, this is a societal issue and therefore can only be solved by fundamental structure reform.
You make excellent points. We need liberation on several fronts, and without that, we can never be totally safe.
The main tools we need to focus on is education and community. Isolating women and children is the way predators and murderers get away with abuse.
If you have friends or family members, that are becoming distant with a new partner, keep in touch. If parents are isolating and indoctrinating their kids, be there - stay in touch even if you hate the parents politics and let them know there are other options in life.
Share your experiences with bad men even if it’s awful, because the darkness never disappears if you don’t shine a light on it.
Don’t let propaganda or men divide us. A group of angry women is a powerful thing.
Family to keep in touch.
A safeguard I didnt have when I was involved in a dv relationship.
Unfortunately, women who are raised in abusive household have such a higher rate of finding themselves in abusive relationships.
It’s one of the main points of Borderline personality disorder. You grow accustomed to the shitty childhood. The chaos feels normal because you know no different. Your ideas of what a healthy relationship looks like are skewed/non existent. So shocker, you easily ignore red flags with these men, and unconsciously seek the same chaos you grew up in.
Thus the cycle repeats.
If I could have had parents I could move back home to in my early 20s, having parents willing to stick up for me, my dv relationship would have been four months (this first time i tried to leave him) instead of three years. Support your kids man.
Stong community absolutely is a benefit to all people in all ways.
Isolation is an excellent point, people are always safer in a group of good people. We can keep an eye on each other, and pull back in people that are drifting out. Community groups can be good for that as well.
The big one for me is to raise men properly.
Just as a side note, but there is a point to it, when I pass by my compound’s little park, there’s always a bunch of children (12 and under) playing. And I always laugh at how the girls are some of the most vicious when it comes to competitive activities with the boys. Whether it’s ball games or just roughhousing the girls are in the thick of things, swinging fists, throwing stuff, even kicking with gay abandon when things get rough.
But a handful of years later this is not the case. Something between the ages of 12 and 18 (which is where I got them when I was teaching) transformed them utterly into these meek, non-physical, non-confrontational people.
The way almost all societies are right now, women are raised to serve others (husbands, yes, but also society) and boys are barely raised at all, allowed instead to effectively run wild. (“Boys will be boys.”) This means that we’re raised to be wives, but they aren’t raised to be husbands. (For the situation, natch, where we have “traditional” nuclear pairing.)
We need to change the culture. We need to raise boys to be functional elements of society. We need to instill in them the expectation that they too serve: their wives and society at large. All the other solutions to the violence against women situation are temporary stopgaps (though obviously still desirable): easily accessed shelters, better economic support, reproductive rights, easily accessed (and attentive) mental health support, etc. But for something that is effective in the long term we need a change at the societal level, and it needs to begin with the men.
We all know the tips for ourselves… text me when you get home, personal alarms, don’t walk late at night etc. But it doesn’t eliminate the threat.
Men can do a lot to keep women safe. Call out bad behaviour in other men, educate themselves on the risk we’re at, raise their kids well etc. I really think the last one is the most important… if children were raised well, the world would be a better place.
In terms of crime, I’d be interested to see research on the impact of male heavy juries on verdicts. Not to mention male heavy law staff including judges. I don’t feel crimes against women are treated seriously enough by the legal system
As usual, the first thing I wonder is whether there are any studies on this, what the empirical evidence has to say … lots of the violence happens in the context of families (romantic partners, but also fathers, uncles, etc.). There are cultural, social, psychological, and biological factors in play, and there are ways to improve on all of those fronts.
Here are a few I would care to see:
- more women would leave abusive households (and thus avoid the worse outcomes that follow from not leaving) if they had economic freedom to do so, to that end feminist movements like “wages for housework” in the past have tried to address this, and the idea of “wages for students” and universal basic income have been suggested as a way to give women financial freedom from their abusers
- abortion rights, without abortion rights complications during pregnancies can lead to the deaths of women, e.g. hospitals won’t remove a dead fetus inside the mother, it turns septic and kills the mother as well - this is the reality right now in places like Texas
- find ways to reduce the alcohol lobby and grip on society, alcohol is often a factor when men abuse women - sure, outlawing it failed, but we forget one the motivations for Prohibition were women agitating to end a cause of violence from men
I like all these ideas. However, they are all just bandaids for a core human issue.
I would add that men’s culture would need to fundemtally change too. I think it’s happening slowly, however the resurgence of regressive ideas by young people worries me. But in order for men’s culture to change for the positive, men need to be calling out other men -while also holding eachother up in support, teaching our son’s better, and providing mental health support both in a professional manner but also familially, or nothing is going to fundemtally change.
Unfortunately I don’t think we, as non men, can do much for this. Men must do the heavy lifting and teach/support eachother. Ultimately women beating (speaking on what I know about which is domestic violence) is often just scared cowardice and helplessness; fear turned to aggression as they assert control of their situation in the shittiest way possible. I clean my house spotless when I feel helplessness anxiety. A man with domestic violence as his uh, coping skill, seeks to take out his bullshit on others. Men gotta empower themselves so they feel strong enough inside about themselves as to not feel the need to exert power over others.
Im rambling. Idk if domestic violence will ever become a thing of the past. I do know other than protecting myself, and doing my best to raise an emotionally intelligent son, there isn’t much I can do to help them, personally.
The ability to crush someone’s skull with mind
Now we’re talking.
I can’t speak for anybody else but I don’t leave the house without at least two weapons
Only one, here, but stored in unexpected locations.
cultural revolution
It’s been tried here. Didn’t work well. 😉
