…yet.

It’s my retirement plan. Buy the games now when they’re on sale with the intention that one day, perhaps when I retire at 80, I’ll have a plethora of time on my hands to finally play all the games in my backlog except I’m certain that I’ll be so senile by then that I’ll probably end up playing the same one over and over for what seems like the very first time each time I fire it up.

Looks just like me when I am fussing with my bond’s eye tree.

Thanks, Obama.

Not even trying to be edgy here, but I personally wouldn’t consider buying a used apple product (that has a battery).

My Mac laptops for work have all failed before the standard 3 year auto-renewal period. Two failed hard drives in the earlier laptops, and 2 failed batteries in the newer laptops. My partner and his family are all iPhone users, and from the observation of a casual yucky outsider (aka Android user), there seems to be a high rate of failure with the batteries. Like, I went the first 10 years of my smartphone existence without even knowing that lithium batteries swell up and die, to now I hear about it on the regular because of Apple products.

The version I like better for some reason: Pi day is just a fake holiday created by big math to sell more formulas.

I’ll never have biological children of my own and I’ll never get to use that benefit. From a strictly selfish standpoint, it stings a bit that pretty much all my heterosexual friends and coworkers, male and female, get a minimum of 12 - 36 weeks of paid time off that I’ll never get.

Having said that, I’m genuinely happy that they get it, I think it’s a shame that 12 weeks per child isn’t a minimum standard for paternity & maternity leave. In the professional settings I’ve worked in that offer paternity leave, I’ve never experienced a coworker complaining or making fun of a man taking paternity leave, nor have I ever heard of a man NOT taking paternity leave when it’s offered.

The places I’ve worked that offer it also usually offer flexible leave, so it’s very common for new dads to take 4 - 6 weeks off at birth, and then work a reduced schedule for the remaining time until they’re out of leave, after which they return full time. Even some of the moms are doing that as well, basically maximizing the amount of time that at least one parent is on leave and at home with the newborn.

But, outside of professional settings and particularly within conservative/Republican family and acquaintances, typically lower-to-middle class people, they act like paternity leave is ridiculous. My dad laughed out loud a while back when I mentioned I was taking over a new project because my coworker was about to go on paternity leave “What? Are you serious?” In my opinion, “toxic masculinity” aka stupid, ignorant, and useless concepts of overly rigid gender stereotypes is where this type of opinion is rooted. That and probably a good degree of jealousy.

A number of years ago, I was walking past a cow pasture when I heard a ruckus. The cows were mooing up a storm and there was a flock of geese in the pasture honking back in agitation. By the time I got to the top of the hill and could clearly see what was going on, I witnessed a good ole fashioned standoff.

Perhaps triggered by my sudden appearance in the distance, the geese spooked first. The honking intensified and they started retreating in a hurry as they prepared to take flight, cows charging towards them at full bovine speed.

As the last goose just lifted off the ground, one of the cows managed to catch up and stomp it out of the air mid-flight. Poor bird came crashing down underneath a barrage of hooves flailing on top of it. It tried to lift its head off the ground a time or two, but within moments of its body being crumpled, it was dead.

Everybody acts like Canada geese are bad-asses, not to be trifled with. A goose will leave you broken, but alive. Cows, on the other hand, are blood-thirsty, cold-blooded killers. Watch your back.

Nice permanent ban!

I left for much less; A 24-hour suspension. Though to be honest, that was literally just the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I got suspended for using the word “retard” in a scientifically and non-offensive context (ex: put bread in the fridge to retard the growth of mold). No way to appeal that obviously retar-- ridiculous decision.

Oh my my my, little pony.