• ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    I had a terrible ex but this is one thing I miss about her. She was anemic so she was always cold and loved snuggling like this.

  • dkppunk@piefed.social
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    3 days ago

    Not for me. My partner has to stay on his side of the bed. I’ll build a fortress of pillows and blankets before I’ll allow that kind of encroachment. No going over the neutral zone.

    I still prefer he’s at least in the bed though. Sucks when one of us is sick and sleeps in the guest bed.

    • Hegar@fedia.io
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      3 days ago

      My partner is like this too. Seperate sheets and blankets. She puts up with a bit of my cuddle-lust, but you can tell she doesn’t like it. She has mentioned a pillow wall. But she finds sleeping seperately to be just devestating, and even during our worst arguments she wants me in the same bed.

      • dkppunk@piefed.social
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        3 days ago

        Yeah, in all reality, I don’t mind a little bit of cuddling, but when it comes to actually sleeping, he gets banished to his side of the bed.

        I already sweat when I get too hot while sleeping, which is funny because I am always cold. Extra body heat is guaranteed to make me sweat and I haven’t even hit the hot flash stage of perimenopause yet.

        I hope you guys find the right balance to keep you both happy 💚

        • Hegar@fedia.io
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          3 days ago

          Again, that is all pretty much spot on our situation. We have elaborate heat-management rituals involving the cat, a fan, and multiple layers of blankets being tucked/shucked as needed. She is also not yet into the hot flashes.

          I’ve long presumed this is one of those PCOS-is-ridiculously-understudied issues.

          And yes, thank you! We’re both often surprised at our ability to come to mutually supportive solutions - just like real grownups! 😂

      • Hegar@fedia.io
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        3 days ago

        Ehhh, not really. We also have associations with past events and emotions are a bit culturally mediated, but the neurotransmitters are doing the heavy lifting.

        Our emotions are just a chemical system. The subjective experience feels more complicated than just “now i have oxytocin”, but lots of things feel different than they really are.

        • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          3 days ago

          Human consciousness is an ongoing process that is produced by an inordinately complicated interplay of neurons and many chemicals and other things and factors…

          But yeah, its a … semi-reasonable simplification to say that the feeling of waking up with a partner you love, are physically and emotionally close to…

          Yeah that basically is your body giving you a lot of oxytocin, that produces that kind of content/safe/never want to leave feeling.

        • ozymandias@sh.itjust.works
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          3 days ago

          It’s an oversimplification.
          Isn’t there some belief and knowledge that causes your brain to release oxytocin? There are many other neurotransmitters involved here…

  • ferrule@sh.itjust.works
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    3 days ago

    I miss that so much. Married someone who can’t stand having me in the bed so I sleep on the couch.