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This could be my wife. All of her coworkers and employees constantly give her their life stories in gritty detail. She is always appalled by the amount they tell her, but… she doesn’t ask them to stop.
The woman loves drama that she isn’t involved in. Internal drama stresses her out, but other people’s drama is just her reality tv shows come to life. Everywhere she has ever worked, inevitably her favorite coworker is the grumpiest person in the office who has no filter about everyone else in the office.
Actually, at this very moment, she is scrolling through people posting on a facebook group who are angry that this local doctor just got fired “out of nowhere”. In reality, we know the full story. He was fired for harassing and disparaging every woman in the clinic with a bunch of sexist shit, driving at least 3 to quit, and for massively overprescribing pain meds to a ton of people and trying to get other (women) physicians to write his scripts for him to take the liability off of himself. He’s a real scumbag. Half of the people in the threads are his patients who have been getting their fix from him, though, so they are talking about what a great doctor his is. She keeps sending me screenshots.
Oh hey, I’m like that. You just be awkward and amicable, pretend you’re boring but cool with whatever and people will just tell you all sorts of wild shit that’s going on.
It’s funny because I’ve been the boring lady at jobs solely because I don’t get involved in drama and I keep the scandalous parts of my life private
I think there’s a real issue where people have shifted the needle in recent years from the understandable observation of “It’s unhealthy to trauma-bond with strangers, and sometimes with dangerous people that is the goal” to “How dare you tell me about personal things going on in your life, friend of 6 years.”
I think either scenario is just an excuse to generally be a miserable person to be around, let alone a genuine friend. There’s definitely a balance, but most people I’ve met are far more likely to treat someone as a social pariah for answering the question “How are you?” honestly than they are to use you as a personal therapist, and that’s even before I moved to the UK lol
My rule is: if you’re gonna trauma dump, let me do it too.
Because then we start off with a good commiseration and we get to see how traumatized we are and if that trauma will prevent or enable chemistry.
that’s fair, just wait your turn. no interrupting my t-dump with how it relates to your life
There’s nothing like honesty as a foundation of a relationship. Also, getting both of your baggage out there is a good way to figure out if you’re compatible.
trauma dump
Oh, is that what it’s called? I just thought it’s how you answer “Hi, how are you?”
Lmao my trauma is from my mom NOT losing custody when she should’ve. Neglect is fun!
You learned nothing from movies like home alone. Supposed to go missing at that point or set up traps to make the home environment even more dangerous!
Sorry that happened to you though
Same here. If I’d known then what I know now, I’dve tried harder to get emancipated. But what’s a few more years of trauma I guess lol
I hope you enjoyed a peaceful, trauma-free mother’s day at least! I sure did lol
date was trash? OK, but did you have a weird time and get a good story?
I prefer the time I went on a date with an unhinged woman that had a purposefully blurry picture that stole a bathroom tile from a Mayhem show than the zillion that ghosted me. We went to my favourite cocktail bar, and I wanted nothing more than want to escape the situation, but my dumb ass blurted out “It’s a lovely day, do you want to go on a walk?” And then we walked for 3 miles.
Worth it. I wanted nothing to do with her, but at least I have the story about the time I went on a date with an unspecified mentally ill scary woman and was so stupid I extended the date.
Reminds me of this woman I went on a date with.
Picked her up at her place, she smelled like mold. Like if you opened a bag of bread that was obviously moldy and took a big whiff.
On the way to the restaurant, she sighs and goes “I hate white people.” Zero prompting. She and I are both white.
At the restaurant, it was tirade after tirade of how men are ruining everything, straight white men are evil, nothing short of full communism will fix the world, all kinds of alt-left rhetoric too. Finally I blurted out “so am I just the antichrist then since I literally am so many of those things you hate?” No response.
She hated the government despite being on welfare. She hated to work despite not having worked for years. She hated men despite going on a date with one. Every hand that fed her, she sank her teeth into.
Of course my dumb ass still paid for the meal. She had the audacity to ask what I was doing after. I made an excuse of having to work, dropped her off, and sped out of the parking lot.
Bwahahaha, this is one of those stories that gets better and better the longer you read it lol
You know it’s a good one when you start with rationalizing “Maybe her drying machine broke? Mildewy clothing right before a big date she didn’t have time to fix, poor thing…”
to
“What the actual fuck” in the span of two minutes LMAO
Oh man, there’s mildew and then there’s mold. This was no mildew.
when I worked at a big company people would be like “this company kinda sucks” and I never once felt the group of people that made the company suck included me.
Is there a reason people feel so personal about generalized frustration?
There is a line between general frustration and full on hypocrisy. If it was one or two of those things mentioned, whatever. My girlfriend often says men suck and I don’t think she means me.
But if she continued to express disdain for numerous other groups that included me, eventually the overlap would make me question what she even saw in me.
Please tell me what “mentally ill” looks like, because I had a great second date but I did steal his socks (I did left mine in exchange to be fair). But now I worry he might think me unhinge.
general indicators of mental health issues were discussed. Various harmful impulsive behaviours.
That’s pretty funny tbh lol, sounds like an equal trade (assuming they weren’t sentimental or anything)
30 minutes? Why wait so long!?!
Probably because my parents would whip me with a cat of nine tails if I rushed. Old habits die hard!
Anyway, did you want to upgrade to a large for just fifty cents more?
This is like 75% of women I meet on first dates. Basically get the basic facts and then they trauma dump.
I don’t like it. It’s so weird. Way too many people are unwell and basically think dating someone will fix it… what they need is therapy and better life choices.
I agree with you, but maybe on the positive side consider maybe they feel comfortable enough with you to let things out. Assuming that they don’t do it with just anyone, in which case they really do need help. It is inappropriate to do in a first or even later dates, but people are holding things in and it doesn’t take much.
