so who is playin deltarune? i finished it through chapter 4 and now i’m gonna get both types of run in the can so i can pretend i’m not back to waiting a year for the next part. how bout those new secret bosses? how bout that damn
spoiler
roaring knight?
it’s nice to have parts of this game be as hard as sands undertale.
also, susie is my favorite, she’s precious, everyone drop your favorite susie moments in the comments
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As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
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spoiler
As I was leaving the library a little kid pointed at me and said “she looks like a boy”
At least my efforts aren’t going unnoticed 🫠
One of the things Im most looking forward to after bottom surgery is not having to tuck anymore. I tuck all day for these cretins and NOT ONCE has ANYONE ever said “wow I can barely tell you have a penis Terminal, great job” 🙄
penis Terminal
I’m jacking in 🕶️
I didn’t even think you had a penis, you tuck so good.
Is very lovely to do the final tuck.
hi everyonee
trying to post shit for the billionth time cause im shy and dead inside and trying to externalize and stop lurking
i am transfem but not on estrogen and i hate admitting that, i want to hopefully get on DIY in a good bit but that’s another issue for me because of various factors ill probably mention later on, tldr distrust in myself, insecure about some other things
I am a ML and love my politics, although the past year has been rough on me and I, dont know, feel like I have lost my “spark”. Feel out of life, trying to learn to be a person again, which is why I lurk here so much and read about how others do, feels like insight for me
other things about me, computer nerd, very sociable but awkward, have a loving gf that i love a lot
i find it hard to bond with people cause mostly everyone else has better things to do but id love to meet people i get along with on here (i talk too much if prompted)
also im very prone to selfhating and dysphoria like 80% of the time so yay
Hi,
I’m transfem and also not on HRT :]
I have a wife that I love a lot :3
also im very prone to selfhating and dysphoria like 80% of the time so yay
You’ll fit in here~
I want to get on HRT eventually I hope once I move out, but will see, I’m like still visibly gender trangressive and I get shit for that lol but I really would want HRT probably I think
sex, hrt
I hope HRT just fucks up my libido cause I just hate the T libido, although this is probably me selfhating than dysphoric, dunno, always disliked it and found it “disgusting” and forceful on my partner, but I probably shouldnt view HRT as a means to this. I do find my current body repulsive but I dont know if the self hate stems from dysphoria or the dysphoria comes from self hate lmao
I had a discussion a bit ago with my partner about this and she kinda told me she felt objectified by me in certain instances as I’m just overwhelming with T libido and I’m trying not to self hate about it but… Dunno, sucks.
I want to qualitatively achieve a better point in life but I dont feel like “deserving of it” at all and idk brain pep talk is bad, as usual
Sapping my energy by debating myself about selfhate moment
Thank you for the welcome though ^^ i talk a lot sorry lol
You’re pent up because you have been lurking instead of posting
Stick around and I’m sure everyone here will agree you “deserve” to have good things~
hii, i am also shy but mostly alive inside these daysi am transfem but not on estrogen and i hate admitting that
i really get this feeling. also factors I can’t readily discuss and makes me feel like a fraud sometimes. but know you aren’t, and I’m not
i’ve posted before that i’m in a similar boat as you. i even got some DIY (which i later gave away to a former co-worker in case she gets cut off, since she’s terrified of ordering it)
you’re transfemme even if you never put a drop of estrogen in you. I’ve found myself surprisingly contented just being socially transitioned with my partner and a few close friends (and in spaces like here)
i want to hopefully get on DIY in a good bit
dm me if you ever need help with it
(same to @Thallo@hexbear.net, dunno your situation)
A SECOND PSYCHOPOMP PFP HAS HIT THE TOWERS LETS GOOOO
Welcome welcome! We don’t bite~
I totally get the shyness to start posting thing, normally I’m like that too. Glad you were able to work past it this time though, and I hope you’ll enjoy your time here.
Starting estrogen is big, even if you’re entirely certain like I was it can still feel a little overwhelming and even scary. I can’t imagine how that’d be worse when you find it hard to trust yourself too. Fwiw, it’s okay to not be on it yet, I know it sucks, especially if you want it; I spent my first 3 years as a trans woman with no E either. But it doesn’t make you less trans or less fundamentally fem. I do hope you can get on it as soon as you feel ready for it, though.
(i talk too much if prompted)
Not an issue lmfao, a lot of us are yappers, especially me and my absurdly long ass posts.
The mirror is wrong. I’m prettier than that.
Honestly, you probably are. I’ve not met ONE trans femme who actually rates how pretty they are, they are forever saying theyre ugly or clocky or whatever - meanwhile some of the prettiest women I’ve ever fucking seen.
I, of course, suffer from exactly the same problem and while I’ve been told Im very pretty I also cant see it in a mirror! 😭
We’ll have to meet because I think I’m so goddamn pretty. Like before transition I was an effeminately beautiful man and so I didn’t really hate looking at myself (as long as I had shaved), but now I’m like “Wow!” when I look at myself. Same for my body, I was really happy with a mix of defined lean muscles from rowing and softness from indulging, but now there’s breasts coming in too!
I have a similar body kinda, have you lost the lean muscles on hrt?
It’s only been 4 months on HRT and I’ve kept rowing so no noticeable difference.
Wonderful, thank you!!
I'm the cutest girl alive so I'd be the exception 🤭
(Please ignore the fact that my confidence in my appearance goes down the drain whenever I’m not feeling great and that the only reason I’m even able to reach those levels sometimes is the flood of constant compliments on my appearance that I’ve been getting since even before HRT coupled with my own “fake it till you make it” mantras like the whole “cutest girl alive” schtick.)
((Honestly though most of the time I do believe it nowadays, it’s only when I’m really, really down that I don’t. I even think pre-E me is prettier than I gave her credit for some days.))
I know it must be mental because some days I think I’m really pretty and others I look like a blown out dude.
I don’t think my face is changing that much day to day 🤔
Fact checked: True!
Yes, you are.
ah fuck
ah fuck
yeah that’s a little tinge of romantic attraction towards someone I’ve known for a while now, isn’t it?
ah fuck yeah i know that emotion too well and that’s it
fuck…
Thats so real
Between transphobic in-laws, my broken phone screen, the Iran-Israel War, and general chumpfuckery, this has been a cromulent fuckcrustable of a day. Xia needs drinky.
CW boomer liberal parent things about transitioning
Both my mum and dad (who are divorced and never talk) have said they love me unconditionally and would still love me even if I was a neo-Nazi (dad) or a serial killer (mum). I get that compared to their parents and some other boomers this is “radical”.
But both times I pushed back that comparing being a “trans woman” to something evil, is pretty fucked up.
Also at some point one cannot subsist on love by itself, I need respect for my personhood.
Man it’s crazy I used to have no self-respect and now I am the number one respecter of myself. All it took was transitioning, huh.
spoiler
I have no idea how people don’t hear themselves
I’m trans
Oh sweety, we’d love you no matter what horrible thing you are 🥰🥰🥰
like wow thanks. Do you think before you talk? I just have no idea how you can’t piece together how that sounds.
yeah
Fortunately most of friends, colleagues and family my age and younger have just been like “oh cool, that’s why you actually look happy lol”
lmfao lady at the drive through just called me ma’am LET’S FUCKING GO
So many basic femme things I’m behind on. Not only have I been slacking on voice training, but I’ve also never learned how to do that thing where you flip in the air and land on an enemy’s shoulders and snap their necks with your thighs. What have I been doing all this time
i still get dysphoric a lot
but come to think of it, it used to be way, way worse before transitioning
so that problem has gotten better for me, actually. this is weird to think about for me for some reason
gay son or thot daughter? I’m both
Thought daughter
That works too
Hot
T4T SUMMER…
T4T SUMMER IS REAL!!
But is it a T4T Brat Girl summer? 😏
t4t brat girl with a little bit of E busts it down summer style… is she goated with the sauce?
Yes.
(Although, it depends, how little E are we talking? If 1.5 years then you’re just describing me)
Wearing a mask is the difference between getting “sir”’d or “darling”’d by the takeaway guy. (At least on days where I haven’t shaved)
I went to pride with my girlfriend this weekend and we had a great time! We met some folks from a trans org, and we’re hoping to get involved in their like social/community aid nights :3
I can’t feel anything. I finished the last assignment of my degree 10 minutes ago (that fucking paper who deadline got delayed to tomorrow midnight). There’s no emotions going in my head besides a general sense of dread and unease. I hate the fact that work/studying is the main thing going on in my life. I hate the fact that I actually like this field because that means I easily threw away all my hobbies to focus on this one thing for my final year.
NSFW/dysphoria
Even worse is that to “relax” afterwards, I loaded up some erotica, only to find that HRT has killed my libido. And even when I do get some occasional “spark”, I still can’t get myself off in a “feminine” way, leading me to be frustrated and worsening my dysphoria. I also feel like I won’t find any romantic partners with a body like this. I have a crush on a boy who is 100% not gay and I don’t even remotely pass as a girl.
My only strategy for dealing with feelings like these is to laugh it off or make jokes about them, or even berate myself for disrespecting myself. Usually works … but not at midnight. Midnight sodium_nitride is a major doomer. A real b**ch.
