Certain members of my family would come after me for “causing trouble” if I called someone out like that. They’d be like “you should really deal with that sort of thing privately. Like yes he was in the wrong but you could’ve handled that better.” Luckily, the rest of my family would then go after those certain family members for saying that
Point is, a lot of people were raised with tbe mentality that they need to preserve the family dignity and image and calling out someone for doing something objectively wrong is worse bc it calls even more attention to it. Getting out of that mentality is difficult. Still fucked up tho
It seem backwards right? But my mothers side is like this. its a different line of thinking.
They were mad when I told on my stepfather for molesting my sister. Like, both familes were mad at me for getting my sister out of a really dangerous sistuation. He might have killed her had I not spoken up. It was bad bad. And my whole ass family responded by not trusting me anymore, and treating me even more like shit. Why?
Because at least on my mothers side, they had been hiding my grandfathers transgressions which included raping his daughters decades prior. Took me a decade to work it out. Thats why they didnt trust me. I expose secrets that harm people, secrets they didnt want revealed about the family, and heaven forbid you protect your children, the neighbors might gossip. Its a paralell to a pig with lipstick on. But as long as everyone only sees the lipstick, they can go on being pigs. They believe the lie, because the lie is outwardly appearing as truth.
and everyone goes along with the lie that things are “normal and fine” until a truth teller comes. then they hate you for disturbing thier truth (lie).
Certain members of my family would come after me for “causing trouble” if I called someone out like that. They’d be like “you should really deal with that sort of thing privately. Like yes he was in the wrong but you could’ve handled that better.” Luckily, the rest of my family would then go after those certain family members for saying that
Point is, a lot of people were raised with tbe mentality that they need to preserve the family dignity and image and calling out someone for doing something objectively wrong is worse bc it calls even more attention to it. Getting out of that mentality is difficult. Still fucked up tho
Edit for clarity
What family dignity is there when you’re openly cheating on your partner though??
It seem backwards right? But my mothers side is like this. its a different line of thinking.
They were mad when I told on my stepfather for molesting my sister. Like, both familes were mad at me for getting my sister out of a really dangerous sistuation. He might have killed her had I not spoken up. It was bad bad. And my whole ass family responded by not trusting me anymore, and treating me even more like shit. Why?
Because at least on my mothers side, they had been hiding my grandfathers transgressions which included raping his daughters decades prior. Took me a decade to work it out. Thats why they didnt trust me. I expose secrets that harm people, secrets they didnt want revealed about the family, and heaven forbid you protect your children, the neighbors might gossip. Its a paralell to a pig with lipstick on. But as long as everyone only sees the lipstick, they can go on being pigs. They believe the lie, because the lie is outwardly appearing as truth.
and everyone goes along with the lie that things are “normal and fine” until a truth teller comes. then they hate you for disturbing thier truth (lie).
That’s so sad, I’m glad kid/teen you was able to see through the family norms for your sister. Big ups.