People are just going to disagree with you, argue, insult you, and at the end, you’ve wasted your time for absolutely no gain to anyone. There’s no benefit to posting anything on Lemmy, unless you need external validation - either confirming your perspective, or seeking praise from a third party.

Exceptions are when your profile is associated with some larger organization, scheme with an obscure goal, is an attempt to gather information, or the literal goal is to waste time, your own or others.

This means that every post not meeting those exceptions is an altruistic act that you should consider being grateful for. Someone expended time and effort for the purpose of entertaining you, a complete stranger, they’ll likely never know and never meet. They wasted their own time so they could improve yours.

    • BJW@lemmus.orgOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      2 days ago

      Not at this particular moment, no. I assume it has a delayed, intermittent effect.

  • Thorry@feddit.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    22
    ·
    5 days ago

    I like to use Lemmy. In order for Lemmy to exist, people must post. Therefor I post and interact and in return I get a platform I like to use.

    Even if you see everything as transactional, it still makes sense to post and engage with the platform.

    I don’t care what people think of the content I post, I try to post interesting and good stuff, but people are always going to disagree on stuff. I also shitpost and don’t mind getting downvoted for shitposting.

    • Cherry@piefed.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      5 days ago

      Same. I want this place to thrive. Its a hard balance trying to not give info about yourself, but also to feel part of a discussion community.

      • BJW@lemmus.orgOP
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        5 days ago

        It’s a tough tight rope to walk. It can be rewarding, though, as can anything challenging. Dopamine for the win!

    • BJW@lemmus.orgOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      5 days ago

      Sounds both self-serving and altruistic at the same time.

      My AuDHD makes the criticism and personal jibes feel a steep price to pay for the fleeting kinship found in the rare occurrences of cordial conversation.

  • Malyca@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    5 days ago

    I’d rather have civil discussion with disagreement, seems like that’s much better here than somewhere like Reddit. I don’t need validation, I need the truth.

    • Blurntout@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      4 days ago

      The majority of individuals lack the mental faculties to engage in critical thought. Truth

      But we will still argue with you in the comments lol 😂 I have had to tap out of comment exchanges a few times

    • BJW@lemmus.orgOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      5 days ago

      You win the Internet for today, good sir or madame. Please take your trophy from the dispenser, and return again tomorrow for yet another opportunity.

  • HubertManne@piefed.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    5 days ago

    whats wrong with people disagreeing or aguing? Thats generally what I want but I would like it to be high quality. That is not so common. If its about something I like or hate I realize that im just basically starting a convo around an opinion of mine. I did one the other day on the masters of the universe movie because it gave me uncanny valley wierd ai vibes.

    • BJW@lemmus.orgOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      5 days ago

      Nothing, until they’re disagreeing or arguing over the validity of human rights, inherent freedoms and baseline morality. That happens a lot online, where the shield of anonymity allows people to make whatever abhorrent argument they like without shame.

      It happens far less often here on Lemmy than just about anywhere else on the Internet, but I imagine it’s only a matter of time. The march of enshittification is as inevitable as it is endless! Or so it seems to this jaded, old being.

      • HubertManne@piefed.social
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        5 days ago

        block em pure and simple. someone saying something ludicrous, cruel, and downright evil. make the experience you want.

  • neutronbumblebee@mander.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    5 days ago

    I think it’s worth upvoting responses if they are well reasoned. Even if I personally don’t agree with the conclusions or think the response misunderstands the evidence. It gives some insight into alternatives and clarifies my own ideas. Or it’s all just a bit of fun which hopefully makes someones day a little better.

  • cRazi_man
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    5 days ago

    I do like reading other people’s comments. I hope people get something out of reading mine. But my position on posting remains unchanged for a while now:

    My rule to live by (and this seems to trigger people online for some reason whenever I say it): never engage with comments online. I’ll post a comment, but >99% of the time there is no reason to reply. I’ve made my point. There’s hardly anything to gain from trying to change anyone else’s mind or elaborating further. Someone has to make it abundantly clear that they are responding in good faith to warrant a response. My life has been much better since I started doing this and I would strongly recommend everyone try it out.

    I find it even more absurd that people post about relationships problems (whether with a partner, friend or family member) and expect people to give any reasonable response when strangers have no idea of the context or lived experience and have one heavily skewed side of the story. That really is a place where people are just looking for validation. It has become a joke on Reddit and Lemmy how everything is such a “RED FLAG!!”.

    • BJW@lemmus.orgOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      5 days ago

      Sage advice, in my humble opinion.

      Agreed fully on the topic of relationship advice posting.

  • Blurntout@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    4 days ago

    You had me in the first paragraph then you flipped me in the third lol thank you for your time.

    • BJW@lemmus.orgOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      4 days ago

      Are you just learning that my ass is the main character now? I feel so bad for you!

  • minty@aussie.zone
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    5 days ago

    I do like external validation although I welcome being challenged aswell. I do also like discussion and empathising with people.

    That is to say I am a social creature that evolved to be social, and although lemmy isnt socialising its pretty close (at least to my creature brain).

    • BJW@lemmus.orgOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      7
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      5 days ago

      Yeah, I can agree with all that.

      I guess I’m just quickly soured by the resident jerks in any community. Making me largely anti-social, but I still make the effort every once in a while just to see what happens. It feels like throwing a rock at a wasp’s nest before closing the screen door. Stupid but thrilling.

      • cb900f_bodhi@fedinsfw.app
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        5 days ago

        I feel that. Personally, I’ve decided most times it is best not to read comments responding to anything I post. And if I have questions, I’ll just research it myself rather than ask in the comments here. I see all social media as inherently toxic, and while Lemmy is less toxic than most, people still seem to enjoy shitting on others online whenever they can. And you never know if the jerk really is some high school douche or a Russian bot with an agenda or an intelligent adult with poor communication skills or a violently prideful idiot.

        It helps to avoid all sensitive and important posts. There are no jerks in superbowl for example.

  • owl@infosec.pub
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    5 days ago

    But when I post a question and get an answer I learn something. That’s good, no?

    • BJW@lemmus.orgOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      5 days ago

      Have you really learned anything? Or do you think you have? There’s no Earthly way of knowing.

      • owl@infosec.pub
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        5 days ago

        I learned, that you are a negative Nancy, that wants everyone to just ask questions to chatbots.

        • BJW@lemmus.orgOP
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          5 days ago

          Nice! That’s as useful as learning that two plus two is nine.

    • BJW@lemmus.orgOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      5 days ago

      To waste my time in an effort to improve that of random strangers as I was feeling gregarious.

      • elevenbones@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        5 days ago

        To waste my time in an effort to improve that of random strangers as I was feeling gregarious. external validation 😉

        • BJW@lemmus.orgOP
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          edit-2
          5 days ago

          Exactly. My existence has once again been validated - I do indeed exist.

          • xylogx@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            5 days ago

            Interesting. I post stuff because I like getting upvotes. I enjoy the feeling that, in some small way, another person found my contribution valuable.

            I refuse to engage with trolls and negs. I do not involve myself in petty arguments. I try to post something I feel will be valuable, useful or appreciated. I try to keep things positive.

            I feel like overall it is a good deal. At least here on Lemmy. I contribute to the community and in exchange I feel a little better about myself. If at some point that stops being true I will leave as I have left Facebook and Reddit.