The way I see it, you have to choices: you can stop interacting with them, which would effectively end the relationship, or you can come out to them, which might end the the relationship.

Personally, I’d rather give people a chance at accepting me and staying in my life, instead of basically ghosting them.

It seems like you really want a relationship with your sister and nephew, which is a perfectly good reason to move forward, but there may not be a way to establish that without “rocking the boat”. Just like transitioning you won’t know how things will work out until you take the plunge, but you’ll be better off knowing for sure either way rather than spending your whole life wondering what could have been. I think you’re going to make a great aunt.

I had a similar relationship with my younger brother after I left for college. We were close before then but when I got back we were basically strangers. I let him move in with me shortly before figuring out I was trans so even though things were still a bit weird between us I came out to him (couldn’t deal with running to hide wigs and dresses anymore). His response was that he always wanted a sister and we got super close after that. Our family says even though we’re 4 years apart we basically have the mind meld thing twins have lol

I’m not saying this will be your experience but being honest and vulnerable can be a great start to getting closer. Regardless you have already shown how brave you are by coming out.

Also it doesn’t look like you mentioned her politics, but even though she’s in texas it seems like she was chill with you being feminine when you were growing up so id hope she’s still open to that.

My sister was the first person I talked to about it but she had already been going to pride festivals.

I am sorry I don’t have an answer or even a suggestion for you, because I am basically in the same boat, except all my immediate family lives within 5 miles of me.

My egg cracked when I was a teenager, but being brought up religious and republican kind of fucked my brain up. I basically superglued the egg back together and covered it in tape. Lucky for me, most adhesives don’t last forever, and also within the last 6 months everything went Humpty Dumpty on me. No thing’s putting that back together, even if I wanted to.

2ish months on HRT and I am starting to see some physical changes, and based on genetics (finger’s crossed) I won’t be able to convincingly hide my torso from people. Lucky for me it should be getting cold by the time I need to wear a bra, and I can wear my dysmorphia hoodies around family.

My sister even sent me a video recently with a stormtrooper giving a heart symbol with their hands saying “hey girl, I miss you”. She doesn’t know anything, although if she thought about our teenage years even a little she’d realize I’ve always been this way. She definitely knows I was taking her underwear (my family has always washed clothes the second we got home from the store, and I used to try and take a single pair from multi-packs before anyone realized the dryer was done) and she definitely suspected I would wear her homecoming dress every time she broke it out (she used to leave it hanging in the bathroom for like a month after wearing it once, it had sequins AND pockets) and from time to time her dresser would be different than when she left it (we were the same size since she’s about 4 years older)

They’re all super religious though, and since we live with my parents right now, I am definitely not okay with coming out to anyone. I’m positive we would no longer have a place to live. Things were on track to move out by the end of the year, and then my spouse and I both got fired on the same day (yay small republican - owned companies) and their health has been rapidly deteriorating for the last few months, so I’m honestly not looking forward to getting that “you’re hired” call anymore because then I can’t be home to assist them.

I got along with my sister fairly well, at least after the usual childhood stuff. I don’t really know much about her anymore though. I am 100% somewhere on the spectrum, and to me it’s “out of sight out of mind” and when I see someone and remember they exist, I’m totally ready to jump back in like no time has passed, but other people are definitely not like that. I’ve had people get mad at me for not talking to them in so long (communication goes two ways bruh) but to me it’s like we were just talking about whatever last week.

So we don’t have a relationship, really, and it shouldn’t be that big a deal for me to tell her (when I’m not at risk of losing housing) yet I’m still reticent.

All I can say is go with your gut and do what feels right for you. You can’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

my sister was one of the first people i told. i knew she would take it well though because we had talked about trans people long before then and she was very supportive of us even back then before i knew.

like others have said, id suggest telling her. if she takes it badly now at least you know, and if you wait to tell her until after building a relationship with your nephew she may take it way worse, especially if you come out to him before her.

My only sister is 8 years older. We’ve never been close and very rarely see each other, but every interaction I’ve had with her has had a… flavor … she was very affirming: she bought me my first Barbie. She made me bedazzled sweatshirts in the early '90s. She was my first access point to femininity.

I might be wrong but that sounds like a reason to think she’s cool, and telling her has a higher chance of a positive outcome than otherwise.

I say take the chance, worst case is she doesn’t want to talk to you, which is the same outcome if you don’t tell her.

I would, but when you are ready. Sounds from your description that she may be accepting, but only if you talk to her. Sounds like it will probably come up eventually regardless and it would be best to tell her yourself. Don’t make the decision of how she might respond, but let her decide.