“Cis” guy here (in quotes because of what happened, not because I reject the label), just wanted to share this experience I had and figured this was the best place. So earlier this week I had a dream that I was a woman, which has never happened before, and it wasn’t like I was viewing experiencing the dream from another person’s perspective. In the dream, that was me. I can’t remember much from the dream, just seeing myself in the mirror as her and being happy living as her. For the past few days, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it and wanted to experience it again, especially the couple of days after the dream.
That said, I’m happy in my body as a man and don’t feel the need to change (especially not permanently), but then again I’ve spent enough time hanging out on Lemmy to know that those are the famous last words of the past selves of many trans people. I also use Arch by the way, so that probably tells you all you need to know.
There wasn’t a particular point or question to this post, but I felt like I had to say something to somebody about it, and as an outsider the trans community on Lemmy seems like the most inclusive and supportive place on the internet. You are all beautiful people and I wish you all the love and support that you deserve <3
Hey, I don’t log in to comment often but I have something things to say!
The big thing is, there’s no right or wrong way to be trans. It’s not a checklist or a diagnosis from a bunch of symptoms, it’s you deciding you want to be/are a different gender. That’s it! Which brings me to the next big thing–you don’t need to hate your body to be trans! The most exposure people generally have to trans people in pop culture almost always involves the “I was born in the wrong body!” trope and, while that’s definitely many people’s experiences, it’s not everyones! Physical dysphoria isn’t a requirement for being trans! Plenty of people don’t really have physical dysphoria in that sense but just don’t really experience gender euphoria from presenting as their gender assigned at birth. That was really the case for me.
I encourage you to take your time, explore a bit, and figure it out! It aounds like you’re pretty open minded towards yourself, so that’s a good head start! Here’s a link to the gender dysphoria bible, it does a great job of talking about a bunch of different ways dysphoria manifests which was what really made me realize it. https://genderdysphoria.fyi/
If you want to try dressing fem (even just at home), thrift stores are a great place to start, stuff is cheap and there’s no judgement.
So yeah, experiment and keep the goal of being yourself for you in mind!
Wow, just finished reading it. There’s a lot in there that is pretty eye opening to me. Having all sorts of feelings right now. I grew up in a conservative Christian (evangelical-adjacent) household and even though I’ve left that behind me there are still some transphobic myths that I had internalised. One of the biggest things that stood out to me from the dream I had was that the euphoria I experienced wasn’t at all sexual. For a long time, even after I left christianity and was happy to support trans rights, some of me believed that being trans was just indulging a fetish. I think that was mostly a projection of my own fantasies, which from reading the gender dysphoria bible seems to be a very common way of exploring gender feelings early on. Thanks a lot for sharing this, I have a lot to think about!
Thanks! I’ll take a look
You be a girl part-time if you want, gender is fake
I know plenty of cis Linux admins, you are valid!
That’s cool. Dreams like that always gave me gender euphoria and were my only way of experiencing that. Lucid dreams where I was myself, a girl, that was really a highlight. I’d be so dejected when I woke up and would try really hard to get the dream back.
(I was never a “guy” otherwise in dreams; they were more abstract or I didn’t really even have a body).
That said, I’m happy in my body as a man and don’t feel the need to change (especially not permanently), but then again I’ve spent enough time hanging out on Lemmy to know that those are the famous last words of the past selves of many trans people.
For what it’s worth (cis guy here, similarly happy in my body), you’re subject to a massive sampling and survivorship bias on Lemmy – not just because trans people are overrepresented here from the general population, and not just because few people talking about questioning their gender identity are going to write a story like you did to report “actually just fine”, but because among those few who do, pretty much nobody is going to follow up years later with “actually still just fine lol”.
I enjoyed and appreciated reading about your experience.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I probably wouldn’t be thinking about it so much if not for being on Lemmy so much. But I’m glad that I have this opportunity - even if nothing much comes of it, which I think is the most likely outcome, at the very least it should help me to be a better ally.
Just like the Republicans predicted, Democrats are going to make everyone trans. /s CIS male ally, dumb joke.
Even people on the other side of the Atlantic, by the looks of things!
one of US! one of US!
I had a dream years before I realized I was trans where I was a little girl, which, in hindsight, was a pretty obvious sign for me that I missed. Same deal there that it was me but a girl, which was weird to wake up from. I’ve had a fair number of dreams over the years like that which stuck around in my head for a few weeks with no repeats.
I was also happy as a man, but in hindsight, I was pretty unhappy in general, and I never linked that to my gender, so content is a lot better a word to describe how I felt about being a man, but I can only say that with the clarity of hindsight.
I will say that any part of transitioning that would be permanent would be a long time after you started, so you would know if it was for you by then. Gender is made up so do whatever makes you happy 😊
of course. we understand. you’re right, this is a good place to share this. 💜
much love to you too :3
That’s some sign of possibilities. On itself, may not be enough, things happens, dreams mixes realities and perspectives. But that still was a sign, that it may be worthy checking, if You had some other moments in life, that could push You to some decisions? Anything from rpg character, fav toy as kid, common day clothes. If You find more, that may be beginning of big adventure…
Aye, could be beginning of big adventure… to where? genders is a big spectrum. swapping between both binary genders is a thing, but there may be lot other possibilities, agender, nonbinary, both 2spirit, fluid changes per a given moment.
GLHF on finding own gender, finding self.
