I have been going to therapy off and on for years and whenever I bring up my desire to date and my difficulties with it I have gotten back to just work on myself and online I have seen “if you aren’t happy alone you won’t be happy in a relationship”. I have major depression and have had it for years. Am I supposed to just hope it goes away? Wait until my entire life has passed?
The better thing is don’t assume getting in a relationship will solve your problems. Yes, it can be wonderful, but you’ll still have your stuff to work through, it won’t just go away.
In the words of Bo Burnham, “We all deserve love; even on the days when we’re not our best; cuz we all suck, but love can make us suck less”
You shouldn’t seek a relationship just to fix yourself, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seek a relationship. I think you’re being too hard on yourself.
You are not as broken as you think you are.
I dated someone with major depression and PTSD for three years. I’m not going to say it was the easiest experience supporting them, but I loved them very deeply for who they are and we had a nice relationship. Before we met, I hadn’t met anyone I’d related to as much as I had with them. Dating is definitely possible, but as with any dating, it can also be painful and you might not get what you’re looking for. It’s crucial for all of us, not just those majorly depressed, to take care of ourselves through every situation. Be sure to interrogate whether or not the way you’re approaching relationships is exacerbating your depression; if you’re looking for dependencies or not.
