Hi,

Not sure if this is the right place to post this, I’m specifically curious to see how blahaj.zone, feels about this topic.

I recently made a post Discussion: Do Not Reject Imperfect Allies

In this post I open up the discussion as to how we should treat imperfect allies, and made some crude examples one of which relates to people who are Pro-Trans but not fully.

What do you feel is the best way to approach these scenarios, and influence positive change?

  • ada@friend.blahaj.zone
    33·
    8 days ago

    The issue is, there are a large amount of people "JAQ"ing off (Just Asking Questions), sealioning and trolling. And no amount of engagement and discussion with those folk will change their minds, because they’re not open to that. And worse than that, it also normalises the idea that trans rights, trans identities etc are up for debate. So these sorts of engagements do harm, by making folk more comfortable airing “mild” anti trans opinions.

    And of course, not everyone engaging in these discussions and topics is doing so in bad faith. Some people can be turned around. But research has shown that even when folk are acting in good faith, they still have a tendency to double down on harmful opinions when challenged, because facts don’t change minds. Emotions do. So until we can know the outcome before engagement, we’re more likely to make things worse than better.

    And that’s why on blahaj.zone, it’s a non starter. Blahaj zone communities are intended to be safe spaces, where folk can get away from discussions about whether we deserve the same rights as other folk, and whether our identities are real, and whether it’s ok to exclude us from parts of society. We explicitly do not have the goal of educating people, because that is a huge emotional burden, that doesn’t really pay off most of the time.

    If you want to change minds, the ways to do it are in the immediate social circles around you. The people that know you are the most likely to be “brought around” and they will be brought around by you simply existing on their radar, and making emotional space for you. The other way to do it is social friction. Protests, shutdowns, pushbacks etc. These are especially effective when they come from allies. Basically, when you make a social context in which trans discriminatory positions have negative repercussions, people are less likely to voice those opinions, and the opinions are less likely to be normalised.

    The goal of blahaj.zone spaces is to create exactly that social context. And honestly, I think that banning someone who holds misinformed, but harmful opinions is more likely to change their mind, than a civil debate. It’s a low chance either way, but at least banning them sends a clear message.