I didn’t mean for this post to cause a bunch of arguing in the comments =(

I thought this was just some gallows humor (e.g. “Everything’s lovely except that I have to fear for my safety all the time”) type of shitpost that sounded similar to comments I’ve heard from women irl a lot.

    • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      This from a user on an instance that’s known for their open villification of any opinion that goes against the moscow and beijing dictated groupthi–

      Wait, wait hold on. Could it possibly be that we both have deeply subjective views of the other large instances, because humans fall to tribalism faster than a kitten on a sock full of catnip? Maybe there’s a vested interest on every side to keep the early adopters of a decentralized social media platform infighting over meaningless stereotypes based on the letters that come after their username, making value judgements based entirely on dictated preconceptions instead of experiential conclusions and honest interaction?

      … nah, probably not. And besides, it’s way more fun to just sling mud. Screw u, u commie scuzbucket.

      • Clodsire@lemmy.ml
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        2 years ago

        This from a user on an instance that’s known for having a large amounts of transphobic, homophobic, misogynist and racists users and a mod team that doesnt do the bare minimun to deal with them

            • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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              2 years ago

              Oh good, we agree then. There’s a certain necessity to engage with opinions counter to our own instead of pretending they don’t exist, even if it’s personally uncomfortable to do so.

                • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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                  2 years ago

                  So you’d prefer the admins allow you to pretend they don’t exist? I know that’s not what you’re trying to say, but its not an unreasonable extrapolation of your position from the comments you’re making. You feel the need to fight for what you believe in because it’s right to stand up for what you believe in, but you would rather you didn’t have to. I think that’s probably the most universally agreeable statement I’ve ever heard, sincerely. I would, too, like for this to be the case. We just disagree on how to achieve that happy state of affairs, though it’s nice that neither of us prefers a solution like “round up all the .ml/.world users in a big camp” unlike, you know, real world opinions…

        • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          Ah, a blanket denial of everything I said. How glad I am that I’m above petty things like pointing out the comically stereotypical behavior of users from other instances. It’s nice up here, on the Mountain of Sarcastic Moral Superiority.

          As an actual counterpoint, the primary way that new users get onto lemmy is always going to have the highest concentration of toxic users. Society is, if you haven’t noticed, incredibly toxic. Commonly espoused ideas like trans people being human or civil rights being important aren’t commonly supported by society at large (source: the entire world right now). The easiest way for people who support those things to find their way to instances where those ideas are popularly held is to join the most popular instance and see both the need for other instances with heavier moderation, and what those instances are. How many people hear about blahaj or sh.itjust.works before signing up to lemmy, vs. sign up there as their second account? Personally, I’m pretty grateful that the most toxic opinions are largely self-segregated into a place where people aren’t required to interact with them. It’s less pleasant, sure, but it’s also the best place in the fediverse to get an accurate idea of what the real societal opinions are. And if it gets to be too much, I can always just flee .world (or .ml, I mean seriously guys) like a base coward and spend time under one of my alt accounts on a more heavily moderated instance like .blahaj instead.

            • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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              2 years ago

              also, implying people are cowards for wanting to flee your hate instance is despicable and privileged ass-take. fuck you.

              That was pretty clearly self deprecating. Who in the hell calls someone else a ‘base coward’, anyways? For that matter, who would even take seriously being called a base coward? I think you might genuinely be treating everyone else as hostile as a means of self defense, which while understandable is in itself incredibly (edit: exhausting is a much better term) to interact with.

              I have real comments here, along the lines of what you mean by promoting disinformation and the moderation standards you would prefer to see, because those are sincerely interesting. But come on, what’s the point in trying to have a discussion when you treat everything like an attack on you & yours? I’m not even trying to be hostile here.

    • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zoneBanned from community
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      2 years ago

      Seriously man, it’s so fucking cringe. I thought this website would be better than the pathetic comments here, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

    • Jericho_Kane@lemmy.org
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      2 years ago

      Same, i also don’t like to walk around at night. And it’s not because i’m afraid to get hit on by some random women.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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      2 years ago

      I should have expected to see a bunch of whining when I opened the thread.

      I’m also cis male and I am worried about strange men coming near me at night when no one is around. Because, you know, muggers and shit. They murder sometimes too. Does that make you whiny little bitches’ hurt feelings go away?

      • Eugene V. Debs' Ghost@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 years ago

        My brother is a cis male too, he was assaulted and robbed, by two males (at least seemingly so, can’t exactly say what they identify as 6 years later).

        Just a bunch of males who only complain about the statistics of men being harmed when women talk about systemtic sexism. They’d probably also loudly claim that white people are victims of racism too when a black people talks about being harassed by cops.

        Fucking hate Reddit 2.0 for this shit.

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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          Well I was just called a bigot for daring to say that calling quoting the statistic that men commit more murders than women sexism is no different from calling quoting the statistic that most crimes in Sweden are committed by white people racism. So there’s no probably about it in my mind.

          • Eugene V. Debs' Ghost@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            2 years ago

            Same people will gladly hurl slurs and sexist remarks then call it misandry when a woman said she doesn’t need a man with a dildo, or reverse racism when a black person said they enjoy spices in their meals.

      • Freefall@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Yup, and we are less likely to be targeted. Also, not a whole lot of women out there murdering around town at night.

        • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          2 years ago

          More likely to be targeted. But more likely to be the attacker as well. The ways to lower those numbers come from building up the lower and middle class though. More crime comes from desperate people in desperate times. Help the people, minimize the problem. (It won’t ever fully go away, so I can’t ever say get rid of the problem)

    • ZeroOne@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Because you are solipsistic & are desperate to get into the pants of a woman, that’s why

        • ZeroOne@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          That’s rich coming a person that wants to demonize men (Oh & BTW, who told Women to make an OnlyFans ?? Not men)

  • Sniatch@feddit.org
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    2 years ago

    Reading the comments make me feel like I’m reading 4chan. How are people getting triggered by that post

  • sanpedropeddler@sh.itjust.works
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    2 years ago

    Gross to me that multiple comments here are ignoring this reality. Crimes committed by men against women in situations like that are so common that women aren’t protecting themselves unless they consider every unfamiliar man a potential threat.

    Obviously women can also commit crimes against men, but its so much less common that I don’t have to take precautions to protect myself against them.

    As a man it kind of sucks when you are assumed to be dangerous even when you aren’t, but you need to get over it. Its not worth it for women to compromise their safety, and assume you to not be a threat just to make you feel better.

    • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldOPM
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      2 years ago

      Obviously women can also commit crimes against men, but its so much less common that I don’t have to take precautions to protect myself against them.

      Yeah, I’ve never had second-thoughts about walking past some dangerous-looking women or checking over my shoulder to make sure some woman isn’t following me home. This is a regular thing that women deal with, and pretending that the experiences are anywhere close to equivalent is odd.

  • Guy Ingonito@reddthat.com
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    2 years ago

    Every male animal that works or lives in close contact with humans has it’s testicles removed so it calms down and stops causing problems.

    Except the human animal of course, because they’re the ones running the show and they’d have issues with removing their balls.

  • 2ugly2live@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Random woman: I like late night walks, but I’m scared for my safety.

    This thread for some reason: YOU DON’T THINK MEN GET SCARED? MURDERED!?

    Like, chill. Yes, men can absolutely be murdered/hurt walking alone. But are we really going to sit here and act like women are making up their concerns/grievances out of spite? For some reason, if anyone mentions a general concern/issue related to women’s experiences with men, some people trip over themselves to say how it’s actually not an issue and how it’s actually so much worse for men. If I’m listening to a male DV victim and I go, “well, actually, women are more likely to be victims of DV. You know, it’s actually not even an issue for you. Here, look at these numbers that prove that women are the victims. Do you not mention it because you hate women? Why are you trying to ruin our spotless reputation as delicate flowers that can do no wrong with your lies”, you would think I was nuts, and for good reason.

    • starelfsc2@sh.itjust.works
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      2 years ago

      I mean these comments are pretty insane but cmon you know what you said is not equivalent, this meme uses othering language and people got mad at it because it groups them with people they likely despise. Why can’t we just be on the same team? If I say “being outgoing is a vibe too bad women love emotionally abusing people” I sincerely hope you wouldn’t defend that.

      • 2ugly2live@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        I wouldn’t defend it because I wouldn’t even think it was talking about me in the first place. Some women are emotionally abusive, but I wouldn’t assume they literally meant every single woman on earth is an asshole and feel the urge to swoop in with, “Hey, not all women. Some of us are nice! Here, look at these studies that show that women are more likely to be in the other end of the abuse!”

        Honestly, I’m more concerned if you think the threat of murder at night is a comparable threat to emotional abuse from any gender.

        • starelfsc2@sh.itjust.works
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          2 years ago

          That’s fine for you, but people who are judged or seen as dangerous just for the way they are (i.e. often just being a man) might be sensitive to things that imply they’re dangerous because they probably experience it in their daily lives too (a kid being less trusting towards you, a person taking a wider path around you). Angry responses usually come from a place of hurt, these are would-be allies who are just reading it differently.

          Not gonna lie that may have been the most depressing thing I’ve ever read. Please read a book on ptsd if you think it’s not comparable to the fear of being killed. “The body keeps the score” is a great book which includes cases caused by emotional abuse.

          • 2ugly2live@lemmy.world
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            2 years ago

            I am judged for the way I look. I am very large and masculine, as well as black. I am more likely to be confused as the danger than be in danger. I have had women cross the street to avoid me. So, as a person who has experienced this more than being seen as a woman, I still wouldn’t be upset. I don’t get mad or offended when a woman avoids me because she doesn’t know me. I’m a stranger, and she doesn’t owe me her bravery or even her kindness. Yeah, she doesn’t know me, yeah, I’m not a threat, but I don’t know that woman and it’s not for me to police.

            And you know what I mean by the last part. I am very, very well aware that emotional abuse is extremely damaging. Any kind of abuse is. What I meant was that if you have the choice of murder or emotional abuse, I would pick emotional abuse simply on the ground that I’m not dying, not because I think it’s “easy.” I thought it was belittling the danger that some people face as not a fear for their lives. That’s why I compared it to male DV because I believe that to be on a similar level, not that emotional abuse just doesn’t exist. I was hoping that seeing it from another perspective, one that is usually ignored and belittled when men go through it, would allow for some understanding as to how it’s hurtful to belittle some women’s concerns walking at night.

            Like, this is so fucking ridiculous (not you, this thread). All the post said was “too bad men murder” and we have people twisted up because it wasn’t , “too bad there’s the potential for man to murder another man at night.” i don’t see this hoopla on posts when men say they can’t cry, or that, for an example, they don’t get complimented enough. I don’t women coming in because they’re like, “I actually do compliment men. Do you know how it feels to be assumed to not give compliments with such a statement?” No, I am not saying compliments are on the same level or social stigma, but everyone seems to understand hyperbole in those situations.

  • ‮redirtSdeR@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    damnn these comments are why i don’t recommend this platform to anyone i know.

    i think i’m going to change instances after this.

      • HexesofVexes@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Misandry is where you see men as the problem - nothing more or less. It’s easy to quote stats, it’s much harder to address the real issues underneath.

        • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zoneBanned from community
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          Misandry is where you see men as the problem - nothing more or less.

          Right, so literally nothing about the post you’re replying to. Cool.

  • daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 years ago

    How is this not bigotry and discrimination toward a group of population?

    I’ve seen the same post in far right groups just changing the word man by some racial slur. Same energy. And also same bigots trying to justify their intolerance with shitty statistics.

    • Shou@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Because men are statistically more likely to commit violent crimes. Targeting both men and women. Women are just easier targets because they are physically weaker.

      • PotatoesFall@discuss.tchncs.de
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        2 years ago

        in some places people of certain skincolors or descents are more likely to commit certain crimes so that’s not really an argument.

        The better argument IMO is that the racist versions target discriminated minority groups, while this one targets the group that is generally not the victim

        • Shou@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          There is a difference between systematic oppression based on race/class/faith/etc, and males being more aggressive across nature.

      • gnu@lemmy.zip
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        2 years ago

        Because men are statistically more likely to commit violent crimes.

        So you’re saying it’s ok to make negative statements about a subset of people as long as they are statistically more likely to commit violent crimes?

        • Steve Dice@sh.itjust.works
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          2 years ago

          Men violence towards women is a result of systemic oppression. Stop trying to make social comentary when you understand jackshit about society.

          You are not the victim, you’re just playing one to justify your sexism, misogynistic prick.