I’m doing pretty good right now, despite the state of the world and my country (U.S.). I have a house I bought with my wife like 5 months before COVID happened, so really lucky with that timing because the interest rate is still pretty good. We have a little girl in preschool, she’s awesome and a total sweetheart.

I still struggle with depression though. I spent the better part of a decade getting blackout drunk every night before I met the woman that would become my wife. She helped me care enough about myself to quit and I am almost 2 years sober now. But I lost pretty much all of my friends because of the drinking so I’m trying to figure out some hobbies to get into and try making new ones, but it’s scary.

So yeah, that’s where I’m at more or less.

Busy supporting both the young and very old. Always questioning whether I’m doing any good at either.

I wonder if I’ll live long enough to retire. I have my doubts.

What does it mean for a person to be somewhere in life? Are you asking what I do, if I’m content with my upbringing, the success of my adulthood, if I’m enjoying the day, or all of the above? I hate the imprecision and ambiguity of language sometimes.

I exist. I am here. The retinas in my eyeballs are encoding the information relayed in your post, and my barely sentient ape brain is firing off a complex series of neurons to search through the space of all possible things I could say in response to give you this message. The statistical likelyhood of this mundane event is miraculously small considering all the myriad of possible divergent paths with small changes in which we either dont exist or never interact in a social media post.

It just snowed and I enjoyed the change in scenery. Another pang of craving for pot or alcohol to stave off yet another boring empty day.

Is existing an accomplishment on its own? Does being somewhere in life currently at least mean I didnt give up on life long ago when I could have? Is struggle and enduring through an unoptimal existance somehow meaningful? Sometimes I feel like its not, when I’m at my most self-loathing and angsty. But other times I feel like I made a change in other peoples lives for the better.

What does it mean to accomplish something? To make it in life? To be somewhere good? Should everyone strive for a family, a good stable career with lots of money, a community that cares about them? Should I want a big house I can’t afford, kids, a loving partner? If I don’t have these things, am I a loser? What if I just want to live in a van or a houseboat or a cabin in the woods as a hermit? Would my life be inherently less meaningful than a wealthy familymans?

No. To ask that line of question is a category error. Life has no objective place to be in. There is no end goal or win message after you make a kagillion dollars or pop out 12 kids and 5 exes. The only thing I think that matters is how satisfied and if you had fun. Im grateful to still have time to make my plays and feel like I can be/do more than I am now. But I am anxious that I won’t capitalize on my future, and will stagnate as I tend to do. I wonder how many others share these worries? It seems like so many so easily achieved what I always wanted, but they somehow aren’t satisfied.

I show love to my parents despite the pain caused throughout life, and can rest easy knowing I played a large hand in giving children in need a second chance/home. I do my best to be a better person than I was yesterday. I’m not a wealthy or well accomplished person, but I’m young, smart with technology, and relatively well educated. Physically many people have done more with traditional lifestyle choices which a i envy. Mentally ive reached places of knowledge and understanding only a few have the privlege to glimpsing. I believe people will always want the things they dont have and downplay what they do. I try to be grateful just to be here and exist as I do. If there is a place to be, whos to say of where it is.

Mid-thirties in a semi retired state. Not working and still very interested in programming languages, social improvement, maps, and wildlife restoration.

I live in a state of mind where everything I do feels pointless, but also somewhat rewarding at the same time. I go to meetups to talk with other software developers monthly, but most are fixated on LLMs now which is uninteresting to me and my goals in life.

My government (USA) will be taking away my healthcare next year so I guess I’ll work for some company doing harm to the world again for profit.

Thought I had it all figured out a year ago: had a condo, had pets, had consistent hobbies, and even close to having a decent friend group… crashed down and now I’m trying to “start fresh” again in a new country for less than half a year, no thanks to certain things that happened in the US

Not a completely fresh start since my career is still progressing as usual (one of the few benefits of having a PhD…), but everything else is a reset for me. Heck I went back to living in a “student/intern special” studio again, my pets are now under the custody of my parents, and I have to learn new language(s) (plural because of reasons) from scratch

Still I’m trying the best. I’m quick at adapting so I’m hoping that things can be sorted out in a year or so

Old.

I’m over 60. Long career in IT. I’m eligible for a big stock bonus in 3 years. If I live that long, then I retire.

Married many years. Kid is 16. Own a house - can’t really afford it. Suburban NYC area.

Dad died years ago. Mom is living with my sister. A nearby aunt is living alone and requires that I run her errands. My wife’s aunt is in a nearby residential care.

My health isn’t great. My wife recently beat cancer and had other surgeries. We do OK on our own. It would be nice if the kid would help more.

Overall, I’ve had a good life. Accomplished more that I would have expected. Did more good than bad. Had more good luck than I deserved. Good friends. No enemies.

Pretty boring. But happy with that.

Pretty much exactly where I want to be. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s way better than I ever thought it could be, and I struggle to come up with anything else I could want in life.

Happy relationship, fulfilling work, financially comfortable, time for hobbies, plenty of friends around. Hit my early 30’s and trying to focus on my health so that I can enjoy the good times for longer.

In a weird place. I have had to figure myself out and grow a lot emotionally and interpersonally because dealing with mental illness demanded it, but I stalled out pretty much entirely on all the functional independent person stuff.

I haven’t had a job in like 3 years and I usually try not to think about it cause it makes me feel shitty and ashamed. And I keep telling myself I’m working at it, but I’m not entirely sure I am. Pre-covid I was making so much progress on mental health stuff but when the world shut down I kinda had to stop a lot of the things that I was growing by doing, and I lost access my therapist through dumb administrative issues at the hospital system where I was seeing him. And most of all, I lost the headspace I was in where I was trying to fix my problems instead of staying mired in self pitty and insecurity about whether I try hard enough.

I finally have a therapist again as of like a month ago, but I dont know how to find that place mentally where I’m motivated and invested in my own growth again. I’m hoping to talk about it next session.

I’m kinda terrified for my future. My sleep disorder is really hard to live with and its not easy to cope with the isolation and lack of sunlight it brings most of the time. Lately I’ve temporarily been on a daytime schedule (instead of nocturnal) which has made things easier, but its already fading and I know things will get much worse again once I can’t see people and loose access to sunlight.

There are reports it can devlolve into a worse condition that would keep me from ever holding a normal job. I dont know how likely that is. Part of me feels it’s a really significant risk and it really scares me. Part of me feels I’m telling myself that out of self pitty and an insecure need to internally legitimize the disability I struggle to manage. I can’t find a sleep doctor knowledgeable enough about my area of issue to help given my disorder is complicated by a bunch of other health and mental health issues. The search is ongoing.

I’m a weird mix of tired and burnt out, and wanting to be hopefull maybe I’m finally figuring some things out. But I’m not sure if I am. I keep feeling like I’m just around the corner from the final big milestone of having a job and then it just never comes, I get derailed, life gets in the way, and I stay stuck in my own dysfunction.

But at least I learned how to change my oil yesterday. I’m pretty proud of myself for that; many thanks to my brother for helping me through the process and letting me do it all myself so I can remember. And now I have notes for next time.

On the edge of a cliff, trying to hang on, but a voice is telling me: “放開啦，走咗就唔會咁痛苦啦“ (let go, after you leave this world, there will be less pain)

And I also have flashbacks of my mom telling me: “冇鬼用，喺呢個世界上害人害物，快快脆脆去死啦” (“useless shit, all you do on this world is harm people and wreak things, go quickly die”)

“去死啦” (go die) “去死啦”
“去死啦”

I keep remembering that moment over and over, it’s a memory that’ve been carved into my hippocampus, forever.

I’m supposed to be doing college, but conservative culture has detroyed the very little self esteem I had. The cruelty of world has broken me, and my mother destroyed what remained of my mental wellbeing.

I am doing well thanks. Struggling a little financialy, however I have a roof over my head.

Doing pretty alright. I am at a stage where I am comfortable enough, and after a few decades of really struggling I am satisfied with where it took me.

Financially stable, have a couple good friends, middle aged. A bit lonely on some days but it is what it is.

Oh, a bit past halfway, I reckon.

In a pretty big transitional period, which is exciting but also pretty conflicting. It’s hard to know exactly what I want, but I’m happy to see my priorities shifting and I’m proud of myself for the work I’m putting in and the results I’m seeing. I’m coming towards the middle period of my life.

You?