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PugJesus@piefed.socialM to History Memes@piefed.socialEnglish · 2 days ago

Christ, he's ripped

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Christ, he's ripped

PugJesus@piefed.socialM to History Memes@piefed.socialEnglish · 2 days ago
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  • hOrni@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    It’s more about diet. From what I hear, the dude got a lot of lean protein from fish and carb loaded on bread.

    • duffer @lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Nailed it

    • 0ops@piefed.zip
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      2 days ago

      Probs a bit dehydrated with all that wine too

    • AshLassay@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Doesn’t he share it with 5000 men

  • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today
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    1 day ago

    He was a carpenter. He used to do push ups while waiting for construction work in the Home Depot parking lot.

    • Jack_Burton@lemmy.ca
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      1 day ago

      I hope when he comes back he spent the last 2000 years getting better at it. Last time he was here he couldn’t even remove a nail to save his life.

    • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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      1 day ago

      I bet he would entertain the rest of the guys by doing little parlor tricks like water into wine. Like bottle of water into bottle of urine.

  • III@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Just like nearly every superhero in comics… the secret is being entirely made up.

  • cdf12345@lemmy.zip
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    1 day ago

    All it takes is about 60 minutes every Sunday

  • Akasazh@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I’m told it’s called a host.

    If so I’d be the parasite

  • SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world
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    1 day ago

    Look at those cum gutters.

    • MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca
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      1 day ago

      Bukkake-Christ died for your bountiful sins.

  • bobo@lemmy.ml
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    1 day ago

    I prefer my Jesus swole over ripped

    • MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca
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      1 day ago

      Swole Korean Jesus ain’t got time for your shit!

      • bobo@lemmy.ml
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        1 day ago

        Jesus said to them, ‘Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the protein of the Son of Man and drink his pre-workout, you have no gains in you. Whoever eats my protein and drinks my pre-workout has eternal gains, and I will bulk them up at the last day.’

        John 6:53–54

  • RelativeArea1@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

  • 😈MedicPig🐷BabySaver😈@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Crossdead… but, not many signed up for that gym.

  • xploit@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    It’s genetics, just look at the father…

    • untorquer@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      But he got his mitochondria from his mother. They’re the power house of the cell.

      • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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        It’s what nuclei crave.

  • Xanthrax@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    It’s starts off with a few nails and couple of planks

  • kronarbob@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OO7zUml5q20&t=1

    It was even filmed !

  • agentshags@sh.itjust.works
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    Ok… So I probably stared at swole fake JCs ripped chiseled physique just a little too long…

    Nice title btw 😋

    • PugJesus@piefed.socialOPM
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      I’m reminded of Japanese writer Yukio Mishima in Confessions of a Mask talking about having a sexual awakening to a shirtless Catholic depiction of Saint Sebastian

      • agentshags@sh.itjust.works
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        Bro seen better days, but he still lookin’ good havin’ a bad one :p

        This was unexpectedly metal AF:

        • MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca
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          Bro looks mildly annoyed he’s an arrow-cushion. “You seeing this Jesus? I’m going to be so late from this.”

          • Geobloke@aussie.zone
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            1 day ago

            Well, after you cop an arrow to the cock, I guessyou gotta just shrug your shoulders

  • thenextguy@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    “When i started CrossFit it wasn’t necessarily by choice.”

  • Pat_Riot@lemmy.today
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    2 days ago

    Fucking hell, PJ, I almost spit my coffee out from laughing and my cats are looking at me funny. Fucking crossfit. Damn.

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