OCR:
ican not express to you how often i think about this craigslist ad
You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that’s hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.
The 1999 Toyota Corolla.
Let’s talk about features. Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope
Rear view camera: nope…but it’s got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn.
Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn’t give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.
You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fll the gas tank up with Nutella, tum the key, and this puppy would fucking start right up.
This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.
‘Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent (o sex: yes Renta car: it IS a car
This car’s got history. It’s seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. this car is not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would.
the car’s exterior color is gray, but its interior color is grey. In the owner’s manual, oil is listed as “optional.”
When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontancously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event i chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla”
“This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. I¢'s as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert, It’s as utilitarian as a member of a church whose seripture is based entirely on water bills.
When I ran the CarFax for this car, | got back a single piece of paper that said, “Its a Corolla. It’s fine.
Lets face the facts, this car isn’t going (o win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop to your wife. This isn’t the car you want, it’s the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.
Remarkably similar to this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALKTM7OzdMQ
I wonder if one inspired the other.
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The part about it’s favorite band being a tie between the Gin Blossoms and Bush is 🧑🍳💋
If you could walk into a Loblaws and buy a car, this would be that car. And it would be labelled as no name brand Car.
It’s true, Corollas of that time period were little tanks. I crashed one and the other car got a lot of damage, and that’s it. That same car was totaled a year later because it’s not supposed to flip like that, but the driver came out alright.
The thing about a rear view camera is that that’s possible to install in any car afterwards, even this one.
My husband has a Chevy cavalier and it just goes. Thing sure existed. Could find parts in any ditch.
Then the entire engine blew and that was that.
