When I was learning Python, I coded a Space Mutiny Name Generator. Here, let me run a few:

Hack Slugmeal

Brick Vanderchest

Rip Fistnozzle

Stan Beefhead

Hack Squatchest

Beat Manknob

Hunk Hardhandle

Hack Hardnugget

Wedge Rockmeat

Beat Bonehat

Slam Headnugget

Stan Toughnozzle

Hack McLargebody

Hack Bulkcheese

Big Grindhuge

Dirk Squatpound

Crud Steaknugget

Hunk Rockface

Slam Fisthandle

Big Hardback

Chunk Slamface

Rip Manthrust

Beat Headmeat

^CAAAAAAAAAAH! gets out calmly

That’s great, it starts with an earthquake. Birds and snakes, an aeroplane. Lenny Bruce is not afraid.

And they’re tuned to the same key.

I’m a Tarheel, Cheerwine is near and dear to me. I don’t live far from the bottling plant. Used to be, you wouldn’t see it far outside the Carolinas, now it’s shipped internationally.

Like how many Dr. Pepper knockoffs there are with and without college educations, like Dr. Thunder and Mr. Pibb?

That’s basically a McGriddle.

Camacho saw his people had problems, he searched for the smartest man in the world, found him, and empowered him to make real change.

That’s not something politicians do, for that you need an idiot.

Possibly something about a capacitive touch screen left out in the weather?

Feet for altitude, nautical miles for distance traveled, knots for speed, statute miles for visibility, centigrade for temperature and dewpoint, pounds of weight and gallons or quarts for volume.

I’m an American, I’m comfortable working in metric and normal.

Noted. Fight the good fight TheDude.

See? Their nonsense technology is light years ahead of ours.

I wish either my mouse or my numpad had a Tab key. I use a trackball, so I tend not to move my whole arm around the desk, I’ve gotten to where I’ll strike my numpad enter key without lifting my hand off the mouse.

For a lot of things, I wish there was a Tab key on that side of the keyboard.

Middle click isn’t a shortcut for paste in Linux, it’s what Unix had before cut-copy-paste was invented.

Highlighted text will be stored in what’s called the Primary Buffer. This is separate from the “clipboard.” Middle clicking in a text entry field will insert the highlighted text. No action needs to be copied. Watch, on a linux system:

Open a GUI text editor. kwrite, gedit, libreoffice, whatever.

Highlight and Ctrl+C this text: This text was stored in the clipboard.

Simply highlight this text: This text was stored in the primary buffer.

click in your text editor and middle click. Then hit enter for a new line, then hit Ctrl+V. Neat, huh?

Every touchpad I’ve ever used where the whole thing was a physical button, pushing it hard enough to click it would squish my finger skin enough to move the mouse pointer a little.

On tasks as basic as web browsing, where things like hyperlinks are actually quite small on the screen, that was often enough to move the cursor off the link. Or moving a volume slider, the process of letting go of the button would slightly move the cursor.

No amount of financial incentive can convince you to create something that you wholeheartedly believe will destroy you.

Nuclear weapons. Mutually Assured Destruction doctrine.

Is that twelve occupants, or twelve passengers? Does that figure include the crew?

The ship has masts and square rigged sails on yards, but no stays. She’s got no jibs, staysails or spanker. A lot of potential sail power has been left behind.

So said bacteria was already present in the environment, but conditions are now favorable for its rapid growth.

To be fair to Nintendo, they painted themselves into a corner.

The first game was supposed to capture the feeling Myamoto had when exploring the woods near his home as a kid, so it has an excuse plot about collecting magical plot tokens on a quest to rescue a princess from a monster. It did well enough to get a very dissimilar sequel, because Nintendo also hates sequels. Myamoto always wants to do something new, he always resists making more of a good thing.

The third game, A Link to the Past, returned to the top-down dungeon crawl, but there was room on the cartridge now for some NPC dialog, so they wrote some backstory. And they got a little carried away becuase they wrote a creation myth, a deep backstory of the kingdom, a villain, and the design document of the rest of the series. The fourth game, Link’s Awakening on Gameboy, is canonically a dream. It all happened in Link’s head.

The fifth game, Ocarina of Time, is a prequel, they made a game out of A Link to the Past’s fluff text. Fans went fucking nuts for it. The sixth game, Majora’s Mask, is a game made on a strict one-year deadline, it has themes of constantly ticking clocks and impending doom. Write what you know, boys.

The Oracle games are side stories that don’t effect the overall story, Wind Waker is the way it is because Myamoto went on a vacation to the beach and liked it, see also Mario Sunshine. Minish Cap is a distant prequel that takes place before OoT, and then Twilight Princess came out, made almost entirely to address the backlash against the cartoony art style of Wind Waker and to a lesser extent Minish Cap.

Nintendo sold the Wii on its motion control gimmick. Twilight Princess was a launch title for the game, but TP was designed for the Gamecube and they just mapped wiimote swipes to button presses. They took the rest of that long console generation to develop Skyward Sword with actual motion controls, and it was yet another distant prequel even predating Minish Cap.

It’s the 2010s by now. Youtube exists, and fans are starting to make video essays about the sprawling, self-contradictory series and trying to form it into a cohesive whole. Detecting a merchandising opportunity, Nintendo releases Hyrule Historia, a nearly 300 page hardcover book that among other things contained the officially sanctioned timeline of events: The timeline splits into three separate parallel realities at Ocarina of Time, meaning some of the biggest entries in the series to date: A Link to the Past, Wind Waker and Twilight Princess, had nothing to do with each other.

One 3DS sequel to ALttP later that largely takes place in yet another alternate reality, and they come out with Breath of the Wild, which is deliberately nowhere on the timeline and contains details established in all three split realities, followed by Tears of the Kingdom which retcons even Ocarina of Time out of existence.

TL;DR: The story of the Legend of Zelda series is best summed up by its main character, Link, when he said “Hep! Hap! HEEEEEYAH!”

“We ain’t found shit.”

–Tuvok