I know opinions on this vary a lot depending on the country and culture, so I’m curious what others think. Personally, I have a 22-year-old son. I bought him a house and a car, I pay for his university tuition (his grades are high enough for a state-subsidized spot, but we feel that should go to someone more in need), and I basically support him fully. We want him to focus on his studies and enjoy this stage of his life. He will finish his dentistry degree in 2028, and then we plan to finance the opening of his private practice. We’ll stop providing financial support once he’s earning enough to live comfortably on his own. I see many parents online (especially in North America) talking about kids moving out at 18, paying rent to live at home, and covering their own bills, and it honestly shocks me. That feels unfathomable to me. I believe that as parents, we have a duty to give our children a good life since we brought them into this world.
I agree with what you’ve said. I’m very comfortably self sustaining now with a wife and kids and house, and still my parents want to give me stuff. I’ve recently bought a car and my parents jumped in asking that they would like to contribute. I save everything I can because I’ll be spending it on my kids. But then again I also try to spend on my parents whenever I can, although they’re pretty well off so there isn’t much opportunity there.
Your post is indirectly asking how much extra money people make and have saved up. Unfortunately, with how things are now, people will not have enough to ever buy their own house; much less buy their kids a house, car, etc. On top of that people have strong opinions about not “spoiling” children and wanting to spend on themselves. Look at how much holidays cost and how badly people want to go on holiday. It’s very easy to spend what could have been a house deposit for your child on your own holidays and luxuries instead.
I’m really shocked by the lack of family and community cohesion in England as well. Most young adults rant about how annoying and dislikeable their parents are and how badly they want to escape to a university on the other side of the country. Professional adults I work with will openly and unashamedly say that they can’t wait for their kid to leave home for university so they can be rid of the burden and then say how much more they love their dog than their kid. I remember a bank ad that used to be on TV that showed how annoying it was for a young adult to live in his parent’s house, but their rules and unable to get a moment of intimacy at home with his girlfriend…so he should get a mortgage to get a flat. The idea of co-support and co-dependence you describe is unusual here.