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This modern concept of over-sharing feels like a way to prevent people from commiserating and developing emotional bonds. Bottling your emotions up is unhealthy. Getting second opinions to solidify your reality is important.
Going a step further, over-sharing feels like a repackaged socially conservative or manosphere teaching, and I strive to course correct away from all of that nonsense.
I have both autism and ADHD and I tend to randomly blurt out stuff I regret sharing later, like my brain just skips the whole process of verifying whether I should share this thought and if ill regret it
Like once I basically admitted in front of my whole class that I had access to the completed, graded and aced lab reports through my girlfriend who had taken the class already…
No point in sharing that, no idea why I blurted it out, doesnt form any kind of bonding, and I still regret it, people probably thought I was a cheater and the professors definitely reviewed all my lab reports for similarities (I never cheated like that
Pretty sure that kind of stuff is what oversharing is supposed to refer to
I suppose it depends on who you’re speaking to, whether they define it one way or another. Every time I’ve heard it irl, it has been in reference to talking about tough times or trauma. And I’ll rail against that until the act itself is considered oversharing.
But spilling out information that you, yourself aren’t comfortable with sharing- that feels like a unique circumstance partially encapsulated by, but largely outside of, oversharing as I’ve heard it used. Specific>general
I agree with you! Obviously it’s a nuanced thing too but it’s being over used as a concept.
I also detest the phrase “trauma dumping”.
I find it really sad that, one on hand, society has kind of but not really, gone from never talk about mental health, trauma, feelings, sweep it all under the rug etc to reach out! Speak up! Tell someone how you’re feeling! Don’t suffer alone, there’s always someone to talk to! But alongside the latter we have coined terms like over sharing and trauma dumping.
I don’t know if it’s my autism but I find the co-occuring mental health # movement and the terms of trauma dumping extremely confusing and damaging. It does feel like a correction, because those terms started to emerge years after reach out, speak up so it’s like oh shit, actually we didn’t know what that would look like so can you actually not reach out, speak up aka “over share” “trauma dump”
It’s a very insensitive way to label it I think. It’s nuanced because of course there are situations where it’s not appropriate or someone can’t be the person to hear that stuff and that’s okay but just let that individual know that and not create a whole term for it and complain about how someone “trauma dumped” on you.
It’s essentially “someone reached out to me and I didn’t know what to do or how to help and I have my own stuff going on so I couldn’t help them” - which is fine but now that is “ugh, so and so trauma dumped me today, like leave me alone, they’re so annoying/dramatic/etc”.
You managed to put my feelings into words very well, though I perceive some issues through the lens of productive conversations and interpersonal bonds. Spreading the idea that you should never speak about your stressors leads to an infinite string of acquaintanceships rather than friendships.
I understand that people cannot always be emotionally available for others, but categorically shutting down certain topics is stunting, to say the least. Personally and societally. How can you organize if you can’t speak about the ills of the world?
Humans weren’t psychologically programmed to have solely transient relationships with others, but that is where I believe this thought process will lead. Stark individualism is gross
I think it’s socially engineered. It was pushed by social media influencers and it caught on. Social media companies want us isolated so that we’re dependent on their platforms.
How can you organize if you can’t speak about the ills of the world?
That’s the point. Corporations in general want us isolated so we don’t talk about our problems, realize the issue is bigger than ourselves and that we’re not the problem, the system is, and then organize around doing something about it.
So the people who control the algorithms made sure to promote the content that stigmatizes concepts like “oversharing” and “trauma dumping.” And people just accepted that as truth. It’s an insidious psyop.
I could see this being pushed to create more intrinsically divisive narratives and a push toward self isolation in service of social media platforms. It’s far from the most harmful thing Facebook has done.
Certainly possible as its merely my interpretation of oversharing
I have neither autism nor ADHD afaik and I tend to over share quite often. At work or with people I don’t know too much. Often I catch myself while doing it but then I think, I’m having fun, they don’t seem to mind, who cares.
Pretty much where I’m at.
Modern social isolationism is going to keep young men unruly and dangerous and grown people too quiet to be interesting. It’s all bad
It’s not exclusive to autism and ADHD. It can be due to various things (PTSD is another one) and it can be detrimental to people so if you have the “who cares” kind of over sharing then it’s likely not quite the same thing - or you have some cool people in your life lol.
I am autistic, and TBH recently Lemmy is my go-to place to over-share.
IRL I’ll say some mild off-hand comment and the person I’m talking to will start looking at me differently, in a bad way.
eg. Last time I remember this happening was talking about being pulled over by the police because the car I was driving belonged to someone who was in jail at the time, and it pinged their number plate reader.
There is a difference between bottling up your emotions and realizing mid sentence that you are not making sense or saying anything that anyone cares about and wishing you had not started talking at all.
Funny story, this becomes extra unpredictable if you’re not masking.
I would gladly, in perpetuity and with keen interest stick my ear up against my kid’s verbal firehose if only I could finish my rassafrackin sentences a few times a day.
So it has been pointed out to me that I inappropriately text people. I am sure it is d/t ADHD (of which i have not been diagnosed). I get insomnia sometimes and may send a text about an idea or something I found interesting. Not because I want anyone to read it immediately, just because a. I don’t have their email or physical address to write a letter or b. I just assume they are a asleep and can choose to see it later or respond at a time they feel like it…
I grew up analog and do not have a phone obsession, frequently leave it home or forget about it when I am off work… just, the tech on there is available to go DND or block people (and yes, I realize it is available to time when the text is sent, a skill I am planning to learn even though, I think just avoiding the texting is probably a better idea).
Oversharing… and being seen as rude online too… I think that was something more tolerated on the early internet message boards/BBS/ but get you kicked off/banned permanently now. Conversely, it could be I have less of a filter in my older age.
Hey, I do the same. Not sure if its insomnia thing, but I often get fixated on idea or solving something, which keeps me awake and locked onto it even in bed. Started messaging the ideas when I found people with same “issues” like me.
In my case it’s more of who I message, rather than what or when.
